I’ve thought a lot about my journaling and how I’m constantly forgetting or putting off writing. Its not that I don’t like it its just that it gets tiresome writing about the same thing everyday. So the new plan is to write frequently but focus on quality not quantity. Lets face it I’m not going to want to go back and reread the same thing either. Ooh excitement I looked at the weather forecast for the upcoming week and its supposed to get into the Fifties! Oh my hear soars with excitement of bike riding in mild weather! Also not having to pump the heat up in my car every morning. I just noticed I have three mysterious bruises on my left thigh. I hate when I get bruises of unknown origins and when I can’t drink water properly. Anyway Yay weather. James is once more on my shit list even though usually it’s the other way around and I just get mad at him to balance the scale. Today though it’s actually something worthy of my ire, even though it happened yesterday. James: Your hair looks different. Me: Its not James: It looks redder Me: Its not, when I die my hair you’ll know it. James: I don’t know what your obsession is with changing your appearance and stupid shit.. Or something to that effect. You know what I can’t understand? Letting people do what they want and just supporting them. I like it, why isn’t that enough? Does everything always have to be about him? Between him and my father you’d think I were there puppet that only lived as they pleased. Well quite honestly fuck that and fuck them. I’m sick of doing what ever they want me to do and not doing what I want to do. Its not as if this is the first time this has happened. Every morning all he does is boss me around or sigh. It’s enough to make me want to tear my hair out. The worst part is I’m not even that angry just sad and frustrated. Were siblings we are supposed to be on each other’s sides, despite the petty squabbling. If I thought things couldn’t get worse I was clearly wrong. Last night I thought was a lot of fun, and its true I had a lot of fun. Going out with Cait anytime is always fun. The drive home though was a bit depressing though; we got kind of wrapped up in talking about our ex’s. I’m really glad she came with my to the Chinese New Years party. I just felt so good about everything. All of the food was so delicious. I wish it could be Chinese New Years night at my work every night. James ended up getting teased quite a bit though about our driving situation. I thought it was all in good fun. I mean someone who is so accustomed to holding things over my head I thought he could take a little of his own medicine. Well boy was I fucking wrong. He completely blew up on me this morning. I’m still so angry and frustrated about it all I want to curse profusely. He can just be the most self-absorbed childish prick sometimes. I am so sick of fighting with him. I’m sorry I embarrassed him I really am. I would never want to make him feel that way because I know I would never want to make me feel that way. I didn’t even know it was such a big deal. Apparently though it was and I’m a self-centered expletive expletive. Then he had the gull to threaten me, he said if I ever pull something like that again he was going to embarrass me beyond recognition. What the fuck? I did not do anything to deserve being blown up at and yelled at for fifteen minutes while I was trying to drive. Everything along with this had just led me to the point of snapping. I just want to scream at him and throttle him. I want him to feel as horrible as he makes me feel. If that wasn’t bad enough I spilled my twenty-ounce cup of coffee all over the floor in my math class. I was so embarrassed it went absolutely everywhere. No one even lifted a finger to help until I had been on my knees for ten minutes moping it up with the most nonabsorbent paper towels in existence. Finally though a kid from my first university seminar decided to help me and I’m not being snotty I am really grateful. I felt like such an ass. Some how though I managed to get all my homework done and turn it in the next class period and nearly forget the great coffee spill of 08’. Then of course I had to contend with my first psyche test, which I was pretty much unprepared for. I’m too nervous to even check my score. Aahh! I scored a 98% how is that even possible? I don’t know I’m not going to dare question it though. I just got to get through the next four and that class is done. After school was all over I went to target and picked up some morning star stuff while it was on sale. I stopped at a fabric store and found some pretty tight threads. I would really like to make my own clothes. I just think it would be really cool. If only I could get my hands on a sewing machine. Maybe that’ll be something I’ll try over the summer or maybe a free weekend. I chatted with Bobby when I got home he really got me inspired about my future. I think I’m going to try and get into theater makeup. I feel like that is something I could get really passionate about. I’m starting to feel better about life, if only I could just get along with James.