I’ve spent the last forty five minutes aggressively filing my nails to nubs. Hah and I thought the drugs weren’t working. I’m beginning to believe they’re fucking with my brain chemistry, but I don‘t mind. I’m going to paint them black, they look like positive shit without polish. I broke three nails today in the process of buying canvass, the jagged edges caught on completely everything. But, now the edges are to dull and nubby to break or catch on much of anything. While filing, I thought about Mrs. Pat the kindly lady who runs the Café in the Admin building. Sometimes just going in there is enough to get me through the rest of the day. She reminds me so much of Renee sometimes, and it fucking kills me, I have to go back to focusing on my over priced coffee and a phone that never rings when I want it to. I think I pull one of my rose prints and mat it for her. Its probably the nicest thing I’ve created all year.