I woke up this morning feeling exhausted, nearly 14 hours later that feeling hasn’t changed much. Life is kind of this big jumbled confusing mess right now. I work seventy five percent of the time I’m awake. I’m not complaining to much though, I need the money. But, it leaves me feeling numb and hollow at the end of the day maybe its just one of those days. I don’t know right now. I got into a fight with my dad the other night and lost my temper. Its been awhile since that’s happened to me. I cracked my fist into a wooden post, though it didn’t do much damage to me or it. It’s the same fight we been having since the day I was born, somehow I still think the outcome will differ with each conflict. Josh popping back up has, well, confused me. I’m not sure I can be around him without falling back into old habits, though that may not be a problem, what he thinks about all this is still as ever a mystery to me, I’m terrible at reading people. I finished reading On The Road today, finally. It makes me long for the open road and truth and honesty that only the yester years seem to be possible of. A little boy today told me I looked like Natalie Portman, remembering that makes my day completely.