Hey wats up? its just em again. im so depressed n im sick of it! n i kno that im major depressed bc i miss my ex so bad. its so hard. evrytime sum 1 calls i hopes its him callin 2 tell me that he loves n miss me. i kno that me n him shouldnt b 2getha but its really hard and i hate it. i kno i desirve better but i cant help but miss him. i cant eat or i have trouble fallen asleep. all i wanna do is just go away sumwhere 4 a lil 2 think about things. all i wanan do is cry my eyes out bc it helps make the pain go away. no 1 understands what im goin thru. yes me and him had bad sum bad times.. but we also had awsome ones that i just WISH we could go bck 2. he stole my 2 ex best friends from me. i feel like evry 1 is mad @ me or they hate me. i thinki need to go 2 a hospital or w/e to get an evaluation or w/e. my friend is major depressed 2 and im afraid she is gunna do sumthi 2 herself. i got her a card and wrote how i felt about her in it. i felt really good tryin 2 make her feel good. i just dont understand y ppl know im depressed but they dont do nething 2 try 2 make me feel betta. its like they dont care or w/e. but its ok bc there are lots of ppl in my life who pretend 2 love and care about me but they dont. the 1 person who made me feel wanted n loved is my ex mike. he doesnt realize how much he means 2 me and how much it is killing me that were not 2getha. yes we do need our space n s tuff but i cant take it nemore. i NEED him in my life. idk wat 2 do. he dont care how i fell bc if he missed me or w/e he would call 2 c how i was doin or w/e. but he dont so wtf ya know. but then again idk y mike loved me or w/e bc im fat, nasty, ugly etc. i hate talkin bad about myself but if thats they way i fell how can i help it??? idkbut hes not the only reson y im depressed. about alomst 7 months ago one of my good friends passed away. i miss her so much! she was omly 21! y do good things happen 2 bad ppls? idk.. n also there r so many ppl dieing around where i live n stuff. i cant handle wakes or funerals nemore. even if i didnt really know that person i still went and cried bc its sad. life suxs sumtimes. 4 me it suxs rite now. i really just feel all alone n unwanted. i need 2 make new friends. i really do. but how can i bc no 1 is gunna like me so y try. i try to be happy but all i fele is pain pain pain! its either when im depressed i eat alot or not eat @ all. rite now im in the not eatin thing. sumtimes i just wanna die like rite now. if i had the guts i would do it in a second. but i dont want 2 put the ppl who actually care bout me in any pain. idk wat 2 do. im in deep depression. can some 1 please to do sumthin? idk what but... this song is dedicated 2 my ex mike. BABY I LOVE N MISS U SO MUCH U HAVE NO IDEAR @ ALL. IM THINKING ABOUT N DREAMING ABOUT U ALL DA TIME! You think I'd leave your side baby? You know me better than that You think I'd leave down when your down on your knees? I wouldn't do that I'll do you right when your wrong I-----ohhh, ohhh If only you could see into me oh, when your cold I'll be there to hold you tight to me When your on the outside baby and you can't get in I will show you, your so much better than you know When your lost, when your alone and you can't get back again I will find you darling I'll bring you home If you want to cry I am here to dry your eyes and in no time you'll be fine You think I'd leave your side baby You know me better than that You think I'd leave you down when your down on your kness I wouldn't do that