I think my life is meaningless. I don't think I have a purpose here. Except to be used. I think I'm used by everybody. I'm used by my parents. I'm used by most of my friends. And I'm used by my boyfriend. Or at least I think I am. He says he doesn't, but, sometimes it doesn't seem that way. I lost a friend, actually, two, within the past year over some stupid bullshit. I lost Elizabeth because Jeff made her jealous and I lost John because of some stupid shit. I don't think I have any real friends. I don't know. I may. Jeff says he's my friend. He says he's my best friend, even. I don't know. I need to let him go. He's stressed out and the last time he was this stressed out, he wanted to leave me. I think I need to let him go before he decides to let me go. I don't know how much longer we're going to last. I don't want to be negative, but. We fight. A lot. And over stupid ass shit too. Anyone who knows me knows I don't want to let him go. I would give anything in the world to hang on to him as long as possible. Anyone who knows me knows I love him more than anything. I just don't know if he wants to be apart of this any longer. Fire drill!