To those of you who read this, I may not be around for much longer. I've lost the one thing that matters the most to me. Although we are not separated just yet, he has gone away from my heart. I annoy him. I'm a problem in his life. I'm no better than the bitch he dated over five years ago. Even though we've been together for a year and six months now, I now feel as if we've only been dating for six months. Up until our one year anniversary, he was dating me and still talking to one of his many exes who he dated the longest. While he was telling me how much he loved me, he was also repeating his words to someone he dated over five years ago. He felt as if I didn't trust him and that our relationship was going to end anyway - so he began talking to his ex. And might I add, he also sent emails to girls he chatted with online after viewing their profiles on Yahoo. While we were dating. While I, and everyone else, thought I had a great thing going for me. He almost broke up with me because he thought I didn't trust him. He screamed at me about it because he felt there was no trust in our relationship. I told him I trusted him. And yet, behind my back, he was abusing my trust and lying to me. He practically cheated on me after he told me he would never cheat on me. He hurt me after he said he would never hurt me. He's supposed to say "I love you so much" to me and "I miss you so much" to me and "I thought that this you did or do was cute" to me. I can't believe how badly he contradicted himself. About trust and being honest. "Krystal, you're perfect. I love you so much. I want you to be my wife. I want to spend the rest of my life with you. I want you to have my kids. I love you more than life itself." Then why did you do this to me? What did I do to deserve this?