Listening to: Marilyn Manson - Personal Jesus
Feeling: exhausted
So Que-Ball (Jeff's 5-year-old Rot/Blue Heeler.) had puppies at 4 in the morning yesterday. She had 9 of the little fuckers too. They're so cute. Jeff and I are keeping the runt. He's a dark brown color with black tips. He gorgeous but he's way smaller than the others. We're hoping he'll survive. Right now, it doesn't seem likely.
Called in to work yesterday to help deliver the pups. The mother went into labor around 3:30am and continued until about 9:30, 10am. I had to cut the sack on one and the cord on another. The puppies love me because I was the second mother figure they saw. It's going to suck when we have to give most of them away. Lauren, Dallas, Alan, and Jeff's boss Kerry already have one waiting. So that's four down, four to go. I'm going to cry.
Tomorrow I start my finals. I go to school Tuesday and Wednesday and then Thursday we have a half day and I get out at 11:30am. I'm also off Tuesday, Wednesday, and Thursday. I work Friday but there's no school, so. Wee! I'm happy. Three weeks of no school, just work.
I'm tired. Really tired.
I just.. I don't know. I keep holding on to the thought that someday it might get better. I want to love him. I think that in some way, I need to because I need him. That's love in a way, right?
Sorry. I'm babbling.
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