So since I am pretty convinced that no one reads this thing I have decided to be a bit more personal. Today I was listening to some song and they were talking about how girls these days will do anything to be beautiful and get famous. I was thinking about how there was a time when I was like that too. In the song they talked about how girls will take diet pills and get plastic surgurey all before they are even 21. I thought about how I am not happy with the way I look and would love to change like, a million things with myself. But I am 25 and I have the rights since my body has been through hell and back. I was thinking about how I would love to be taller and have bigger boobs and a smaller ass and thighs and how I would love to get my face done too. I ended up this whole thought process with this: "I may not like some things about myslef and I may talk about changing them but I don't think I ever could since I would not be able to handle the thought that I am made of plastic". I was also thinking that I know girls 8 years younger than me who would kill to look like me and that I don't look a day over 18 and I am 25 is a good thing. I am not sure I want to take the chance that my youthful looks would vanish under the knife. I am done with that rant. Next. So I have a crush. And I have a boyfriend. These are not the same people. My boyfriend is a very nice person and so is my crush. I am very attracted to both of them but my feelings for my crush deepen every time I see him. I have no idea what to do. I mean I know he likes me but I am not sure how well we would date. We get along rather well when we are together but I am not certain that it would last very long since he is much younger than me. I am looking for serious and I am pretty sure that he is not ready for what I want. Grrrr him and all his sexiness.