The last 2 nights I have been having dreams about Anthony. I miss him so much. I have no idea what came over me last Saturday but all I know is that I can't hear a certain type of song without crying- I don't even know what hit me but I was back in love with him in a matter of hours and he let me down again. I can't keep doing this to myself but when I am around him I have always been like this. I miss him so much right now. I don't even want to think about what could happen if I see him again. Back in 1997-1998 he was my life. All I did was for him. I even carved his initials into my right arm back in 1998 and the scar is still there. I look at it now as a reminder of how much he hurt me but how much I will always love him. I thought back then that I got over him but last weekend and this whole week has been proof that I honestly don't think I will ever get over him. He knows me so well I am afraid to lose that. I know he is in Vegas right now but I can't help but think that he is still close to me. I sometimes wish I could rewind it and go back to last Monday and see him. I wanted nothing more than to say goodbye. And now I don't think I ever will. It kills me to know I probably will never get over him. I just wish my dreams about him would go away and let me live in peace. At least then I could sleep without being torumented by his memory. I mean it's bad ehough that I am constantly reminded of him during the day but at night? This is a bit rediculous. Maybe soon I will get over him since this time it was only a weekend and not 2 years. God help us all if I don't.