yeah i'm listening to Boulevard of Broken Dreams and yeah i'm feeling broken.
i tried soo hard
and got soo far
but in the end
it doesn't even matter
pretty much. I entered that MASH thing on greendayconcerts.com for a chance to win tickets to LA to see Green Day in soundcheck, hear my MASH get played over the speakers, see them in concert, and win $2500 (and trust me, i'd be just fine with just seeing them live). well the contest ended today. I didn't even make it in the finalists.
I had tried for as long as the contest was open up until now. i've entered that contest five times a day every day. it's really not fair. I shouldn't have gave my hopes up and now i'm crying. I told myself I wasn't going to think about it or be upset if I didn't get it but I lied to myself. I really thought this was going to be my chance.
i've seriously tried for soo long to be able to see them live. i've entered every contest I knew about and when they came to Maine I tried with everything to go see them. but no, nothing. maybe i'm not even meant to like them at all. maybe it's a sign that I should just move on and stop loving them. but my love for them is mostly why i'm still here. i'm sorry if I sound dramatic. i'm just soo fed up with everything. i've given it my best and I get nothing in return. ever. and I have a feeling I never will so there's no point anymore. I really feel like this was my last chance.
12:50am
you are too spoiled. so spoiled you dont think your spoiled. you need to stop always WANTING things and start GIVING.