in this exchange
I often touch myself
so go ahead
and let those dirty words
pass right through me
just passing through
not stopping by
not saying hi
girl you can't kill a liar
Me and Cara are going to write a song for the title "Can't See Through The Plastic" and it's going to be awesome.
Grrr. For lack of better words, Dustin's being really mean lately. Like pretty much since the few months before he moved away to Pennsylvania over a year ago he was always nice until now. Now I can't say anything without being called dumb. Or stupid. Or a dipshit. Or retarded. I don't even want to talk to him anymore. I felt bad for him because of what he's going through; Ashley not being here. His car taking a LONG time to fix. Him not having a job. But it's really going too far.
I feel like a recluse at my house. No one really talks to me. I jump at the chance to hang with my friends because no one here likes me. Like I just said, Dustin, for some reason, feels the need to be mean to me when all i've been is nice to him. Mom doesn't talk to me really. She closes herself in the computer room and only talks to me to complain about her stomach (she had surgery a while ago) or yell at me to do the dishes. I know i'm a disappointment to both of them. No one believes I can get into college anymore. At least, not the ones I want to go to. I'm starting to believe I can't either. I should just give up. I give up on everything else eventually anyways.
Most of all, I don't want to go back to that state of mind.
I think I was going to type something else in here but I can't remember. Oh well.
I'm the son of rage and love.
11:15PM.
Dustin is just...grumpy. He'll get over it. Your mom is grumpy from having female pieces taken out probably, and the whole gene shit. I'm grumpy lately from the winter...after it starts to not get dark at 4 we can do more. I just feel sad a lot from it.
At least TRY at school. Don't just give up on it. Any college at all is better than none.
I'm the son of rage and love.
11:15PM.
At least TRY at school. Don't just give up on it. Any college at all is better than none.