It started out when you told me
you told me not to cry
but it wasn't of sympathy
no, not even of apathy
and I wasn't aware that I was a lie
Out of faux apathy you asked me
"what's wrong with you?
what's wrong with us?"
I replied "I don't know"
well "I don't know"
was my way of saying "everything"
and I became aware that I was a lie
Everything I knew became false hope
you left me that night
and I never thought I'd see you
standing on the doorstep in tears
But I helped you, didn't I?
I brought you in, sat you down, told you why
it wasn't nice to lie
and you became aware that you were a lie
"I don't know" meant I'd never
have to face the lies you were telling
the lies that became my life
and i'd never have to tell you why
"I don't know" meant "everything"
because you believed me so
and until we die living stays a lie
I'm going to pull a you-know-who.
I hate when people fake apathy to get more friends. I HATE WHEN PEOPLE AGREE WITH SOMETHING THEY DON'T LIKE JUST TO GET MORE FRIENDS. I hate when you tell me i'm not good enough when YOU DON'T KNOW THE HALF OF IT. @#$%^&*. I HATE WHEN YOU DO KNOW THE HALF OF IT AND PRETEND I AM JUST AS GOOD. NO I'M NOT. JUST STFU KTHX. I HATE WHEN YOU TELL ME I CAN MAKE IT IN LIFE WHEN WE KNOW THERE IS NO FXCKING WAY IN HELL I COULD MAKE IT PAST A COMMUNITY COLLEGE. I RUINED MY LIFE AT THE AGE OF SIXTEEN. I'M DEALING WITH IT, NOW YOU CAN TOO. DON'T EVEN LEAVE ME A COMMENT TELLING ME THAT IF I PICK IT UP I'LL DO BETTER. THAT WILL NOT HAPPEN AND THAT'S JUST GOING TO MAKE ME MORE ANGRY. WITH YOU AND MYSELF.
Okay i'm good.
It's better to face these kinds of things with a sense of poise and rationality.
1:42AM
Feeling angry isn't fun :-/, I know. Well look at it this way; going to any college at all is better than none. You also don't have your parents harassing you like mine do.
Highschool sucks, but only one more year. Just try to get through this year. Next year won't be as hard.
I was gonna see if you wanted to do shit this weekend, but I know ash is home and figured you'd wanna spend time with her. Ten days until I fix my car. < 3
I HATE WHEN YOU TELL ME I CAN MAKE IT IN LIFE WHEN WE KNOW THERE IS NO FXCKING WAY IN HELL I COULD MAKE IT PAST A COMMUNITY COLLEGE. I RUINED MY LIFE AT THE AGE OF SIXTEEN. I'M DEALING WITH IT, NOW YOU CAN TOO. DON'T EVEN LEAVE ME A COMMENT TELLING ME THAT IF I PICK IT UP I'LL DO BETTER. THAT WILL NOT HAPPEN AND THAT'S JUST GOING TO MAKE ME MORE ANGRY. WITH YOU AND MYSELF.
Okay i'm good.
It's better to face these kinds of things with a sense of poise and rationality.
1:42AM
Highschool sucks, but only one more year. Just try to get through this year. Next year won't be as hard.
I was gonna see if you wanted to do shit this weekend, but I know ash is home and figured you'd wanna spend time with her. Ten days until I fix my car. < 3