Tonight my best friend's boyfriend was in town. He's a freshman in college. She just turned fifteen. I love her, and I can mildly tolerate him, but I can't stand what they're doing. She was fourteen and she lost her virginity to a nineteen year-old. Something about this whole thing just bothers me. Possibly I'm jealous, possibly I just really hate Matt, possibly the whole situtation just disgusts me. Does anyone remember being in fifth grade? I do. I've changed so much since then. I can only imagine how much I'm going to change in the next few years. There has to be this difference between the two of them that's just astronomical. A twenty four year old and a twenty nine year old wouldn't be bad, but that's because they're in the same stages of their life. It hurts me to hear people talk about her, but I do it to. Everyone can see her mind set. They all understand it. But him. How can he be doing this? They're not just dating, they're having sex. It scares me, because every once in a while it will scare her. What's really going through his head? Honestly. ------------------------------------------------- I've jumped my ship left the rain to fall fall down on me I'm struggling through the rain I'm struggling through the pain of it all I'm here with out you And I'm so lost, alone Here with out you and I'll let out a pained moan And I let my tears fall with the rain because I've jumped my ship left the rain to fall I'm under the ice And I see you Skating over me I'm stuck under the ice And you can't see my drowning