So, for all the people who frequent my diary, I've decided to change some things about my life. Change number 1. ---I have to stop being so negative about everything. Sure, I've bled, been bumped, bruised, and broken, but so has everyone. No one has a prefect life. It's just not the way that shit goes down. Change number 2. ---I have to stop talking to people who I know will hurt and leave me. IE Kyle, Mickey, Patrick, so on and so forth. They just will fuck me over in the long run, and I can't handel more of that. Change number 3. ---I have to accept the fact that I have people who love me. People who need me around. People who can't be frequenting my funeral anytime soon. IE AJ, Brad, Ellie, Lorilei, Nate, Mischy, Torsten, Amber, Lana, Katie, Ashley, Arianne, Seth, Anna, Damara, Gena, Kayla, Andy, Dan, Mike, Lee Anne, Cobby, Mandi, Bato, Lindsay, Annie, Abra, Sara.(this is going to take a long ass time. So I'll stop there) Change number 4. --The cutting has got to stop. If that means that I have to forgo shaving my legs and wearing skirts around for a while, so be it. No more cutting. No more razors. That's the end of it. I can't be scaring the people who love me any longer. Change number 5. ---The constant talk about weightloss has got to end. It doesn't matter if it's true, it doesn't matter if it's not true. It has to end. Change number 6. ---My grades have got to mean more to me. I've managed to pull up my D- in french to a steady B and my C+ in bio to an A-, but I have to stick with the whole doing my homework thing. Change number 7. ---I have to not take every little thing so personally. It takes up way to much of my energy, and honestly, I just cannot handel it any longer. Change number 8. ---I have to look in the mirror and love myself. For who I am. I don't really know who me is, but I know that I want to keep loving me. Forever. so, those are the changes I have to make to my life. It's probably not going to change the fact that I am so in love with Mickey that every time his name is mentioned, I want to cry, and it's not going to change the fact that I lost my virginity to some guy who really wasn't in love with me, but maybe, just maybe, it'll help me and my perspectives about life. I can only hope.