alright, so after these last few days i realize im growing more and more unstable. i really need to get things straight. i think i might hold off on going to school full time in december, and just take a few classes, maybe 2. i really want to concentrate on getting on with things. put a little more effert into work. and as it sits right now, after the holidays, move away from the family. I here there might be a lot of supervisor openings coming very soon, all around the state. If i stay where i am thats cool, if i go somewhere new, thats even cooler. im depressed all the time. all the time. and it hasnt been that long i guess, but i can't just sit here. i cant let it get any worse. im bitter, and im impatient. my mom and i are constantly fighting now, partially because of my additude. im growing more and more antisocial. chris says we need to talk get shit straight. and i need to find a way not to be. this is not how i imagined things. not at all. maybe instead of fighting this alone all the time. maybe i just need to accept the fact that for right now, the only way im going to do anything with my life. is alone. im gonna take a break. really, no aim. no calling. just im gonna be so alone, that lonely, will get bored with me. no strength, no vicotry. i wont extend my hand, unless a hand extends to me first. this will be hard, it will be lonely, but it will make me face my problems. problems, that i didnt know i had.... how very criptic. i feel as if i myself am some UFO, and im looking up at myself not knowing what will happen, or even how i got here. Things around me in blaze, lights, unknown. a figure out of the light above. me, then, now, what will be. can't tell from the silohette...