alright, so now that i have slept and its not 4 am im a little more level. so yeah, after i got off the phone i flipped, but on her cd, and did the usual. lonelyness has beat out love, in this round anyway. so we talked on the phone before i went to bed at around 5:30ish in the morning, and wow, theres a menace to my head. she told me that all she wants is to go back to summer, if i was there we would be together, and that she loves me... and that im the only thing that can make her happy. beautiful. so now, lets see what happens. lets see how much things will get twisted, how love will take my inards and continue to plague them with pains. lets make a prediction of what will happen when i know thier spending a night together...and i am spend idling my head around the concept: my imagination (as good as it is) will see them together, i will here them saying things to eachother, i will flip out with jealiousy and try to contain myself with the thought that she is happy then i will stumble across the road block that she isn't because she still loves me, then i will question that because i can't touch a girl without feeling like dirt how can she be with someone else. then finaly i will take the shit mentality and like the insane person i am somehow bring about hope...hope that will keep me completely in love. cause out off everything, thats what i can do. yeah, ...now im gonna go to work. when i get off work, im going to call her like she asked me. so can someone tell me what the hell is going on, cause i dont know. things arn't even close to being over...nope. something else has to go wrong. gut feeling. and to be honest, my gut feelings have been rigth so far, i mean evan, i said that the first weekend. haha. gut feelings right. yeah, now i need to mess something up too. i did something to deserve this. so now i will deal with it. heres looking at u kid.