So things are moving along. Work is becoming more and more annoying with the holidays, it seems that everyone is flipping out over simple things, and the leadership in the store has a stick up thier ass. Im so glad my supervisor is the only one in the store with some sence. So holloween came and went, that was quick, can't say much. got dressed up for work, came home afterwards and played video games. not much eh. Anyway. Last night i hung out with some people from work, gary, and sam. Sams just a fun person to be around, and gary is an older me. ha. sorta, not really. he introduced me to Kanar, which is a LARP (live action role playing) and im intrested cause its pretty much a renfair where u run around in the woods for three days and beat the shit out of eachother and act like your in a world filled with magic....now thats escapism if i ever herd it. it'll be a blast. And it'll let my inner geek run free...anyway, we went to ramshorn at just talked. ended up talking about sexual adventures and best buy and all that jazz...it was fun. i liked having conversation with new people...i liked it a lot. I mean, to be honest, the only people i converse with are Chris, and i'v been avoiding seeing melissa more than once a week because i dont want things to get complicated, more importantly, i dont want her as more as a freind. And i was quickly reminded by chris that i have not had a close female freind that did not involve an attraction...wait just thought of one, ha, Angelica. nevermind im in the clear. HAHAHA, suck on that chris. i wish things where as easy everyday as they seemed last time i wrote. havn't really talked to stacy in almost 2 weeks now, and...i dont know. i miss her. dammit all. as angry as i am, i still miss her. fuck. I mean honestly, she probably isnt even thinking of me, probably is mad at me for something and dosn't even realize she has hurt me in anyway...probably completely self obsorbed in yourself, god i miss that girl. blah. Im scared at the fact that in a few weeks (i believe 3) my birthday pops up, and thier college break shows up. meaning she'll be back in town. im afraid of being able to say no to her...or then again, im also afraid that she wont call at all...i mean its sick really ANYWAY!!! i do have to admit, that perhaps i have been going about things the wrong way. For years now i have been trying to figure myself out, and to do that i believed that i needed to be alone, well apparently that shit hasnt worked. i just need to have fun and see where things take me. my god, this is all to serious. lets just see what happens. later.