well today is my birthday, whipee....(sarcasm) it was cool and all you know. the morning was great, spent my bday money on registering my car, that money lasted a hole 2 hours, got it at 7 was gone at 9..haha. after that melissa took me to breakfast and bought me a book, i also boughrt myself a bigger journal/sketch book thing for the spell book needed in kanar. (i miss that place, i was so rediculiously happy there) went to biggies, we talked about kanar, and just chilled, laughed, lol...chris. thats a freind. then went to work at 1:30 worked, worked some more, got off 10, and here i am. can't go out cause i have work at 7 am, then there really isnt anyone to go out with is there....(haha, end of december marks the end of the companions i do have) yeah, chris is leaving at the end of december to return to perdue, melissa is going to state, and i have seperated myself from all others with such vigor that i have no intrest in seeing them. but at least the ones i like come home for holiday break right....(things will get intresting) I spent a lot of the day thinking about where i was 3 months ago, 6 months ago a year ago...2 years so on you know. can't believe so much is different. can't believe i'm in this state. i think im going to go to western so i can do ROTC and criminal justice, do my years as an officer, and be happy....but then again, its western, don't want to deal with certain elements at western. but half a year as it seems has a way of turning the world inside out.....what evils await. today was over all a good day you know, but i wish i could have done more besides work...i can't wait to pick up my guitar, i dont know what i will call her yet, ill think of something. Life is funny. part of what is bothering me i guess is so childish, there were two people who called about my birthday this year, or said anything other than my parents who i didnt mention it too first. and that was chris and melissa. last year, so many more, a year before that countless. ha. i'v done it to myself. so yeah, its my birthday. happy birthday kevin. you loser. happy birthday. (i really need to cheer up, i mean it wasnt really as bad as i made it sound, but this place just brings out a place of complete "hey write what hurts" sort of thing) what i like about this hole thing is that, unless you read this, you'd never know i felt this way, not from the way i acted.