I'm in a very unique mood. It's kinda of weird. I'm not gonna post all about it because people will read this and laugh. But screw that, because I don't know any of you! I've been very emotional lately. It's prolly the PMS, but still. I've figured out that I no longer have romantic feelings for Jim. It's kinda of bittersweet. This is the first time I finally realized it's over. Forever. Although, I'm glad it is, and it needed to end. It's weird. But I'm happy that I don't like him, since that would complicate a lot of things, and it's too stressful. But in regards to having a relationship, things have gotten weird. The other day, for no apparent reason whatsoever I got really scared. I was trying on clothes for the first day or school and I realized, I look a lot prettier. This, to some, might sound shallow, but it's different. Even my mom said that I look so much different than what I did as a kid, and that was good. I wasn't an ugly kid, but I was not by any means cute. Once I hit age 7 it was all...ick. But I've slimmed down, and it's weird. I have a feeling that guys are going to start paying a lot more attention to me, and I should like it, but I'm not sure if I do. I don't really want guys paying attention to me just because I look nice. And I'm scared too. I've been in one relationship through out high school. I've never really been on a date. Okay, I'm completely off topic. But anyways, when I saw that I didn't look half bad in the mirror, it scared me and I became completely scared of getting married. Married. Which is completely retarded since I'm 17. I've never been scared at the thought of commitment til then. And I don't feel it so much today. But it was weird. The whole deal with the Hurricane is horrible. But I hate how the Red Cross is dealing with this. I was watching a benefit concert on TV and Kanye West came on and was tlaking with Mike Myers and Kanye said "President Bush hates black people." That pissed me off to no end. I mean, what the hell does that have to do with raising money for people in need? I don't think that celebrities should use their status to promote their political view while doing a charity event. That is just bull. So I'm going to give a bunch of clothes to victims, but not through the red cross if I can help it. Another thing that pisses me off about the Louisianna deal is that no one down there is really doing anything. It's utter chaos. I wish someone would just get a plan and start really doing something. I mean, things at 9/11 were undoubtidly hectic, but Rudy Guiliani got things together and really started working. I mean, they saved lives! But down in LA they are just, who even knows. And how people there are treating each other. It's horrible. Killing and raping in the Sports Dome. I mean, come on people. That is just sick. Okay, enough of that for a while. Today is the MDA telethon. Tradition to watch. Donate. -Cty