So here is the big entry about the boy dilemma. Sadly, it's not really even a dilemma. But that is the problem...I don't know what it is. I like him, I admit it. Yet, I'm not sure if he likes me, or just considers me a good friend. He gives me all these signs that he is interested, but I can't help but be weary. And Emily and Louis have been absolutely right. I'm totally afraid of being hurt. I don't deny it. My deepest fear is getting so into this relationship and then him not liking me or pulling out. I know that being vulnerable is the only way, and usually I'm all for going for the gusto, but this is different. I feel like this one really matters. We're good friends and it's not just that. I just don't want to ruin things. While I don't want to sit around and wait forever in wonder, I don't want to be straight to the point and ruin all of it. I've worked so hard to be the kind of person I am and if this isn't to work out, I know it doesn't mean anything personal. But it does. I haven't changed to get him to like me, but in the past few months I have changed in general and I don't think I could stand the rejection of the person I love being. I can't take it if he doesn't like the real me. Maybe I'm just getting to that age. I don't really know what that means, but I know it means something. I think that this is all culminating to a turning point in which our entire relationship (or what might be) teeters on the brink of something. I just wish I knew what that something was...