They Say She Died Easy Of A Broken Heart Disease If this week hadn't been the worst in the history of my life so far, it wouldn't be hurting so much. From Sunday to Sunday was a slow fucking hell. and im not even sure where to begin. Sunday: After being ignored by my boyfriend for the entire day... I ended up working from 5-midnight. I sorted signs for about 5 hours. the whole time Toni was on my ass AREN'T YOU FINISHED YET? and then i cleaned the most disgusting bathroom for 2 hours. 2 FUCKING HOURS. mice included. gross. so anyways i finally get ahold of him. and he dumps me. Yea. go me. i finally found someone that i thought cared. I'm such a fuck up. i just gotta stop giving a shit about other people. Monday: On the way home from school i learn that my grandparents have rolled their truck off the highway. Not a happy moment. At about midnight Devon calls, "I'm like 10 minutes from your place, can i come see you?" so i say sure. he gets there. and hugs me. and holds me. and I cry. I cry because i cared about him. because he was the first thing ive trusted since my parents split up. I cried because i was worried about my grandparents. I cried because i was never going to be good enough for anyone. ANd by this point, I had realized that. Buliema begins to take hold. again. we kiss. he leaves. Tuesday: Was an okay day i guess. by this point i had figured not a whole lot else could go wrong. Wrong. Wednesday: School to work. And work was so fucking stupid. i finally get promoted and nobody can even lend me a fucking book so i can do my test. then Devon was supposed to pick me up... and ditched. and called me and talked to me for like ever. God i want him back. ANd then I had to close for the first time by myself, and boy did i ever fuck up. *sigh* so i went home a cried myself to sleep. buliema is my new best friend. Thursday: was actually a good day. minus teh fact that i was heart broken. but hey, i got my cast. Friday: Lauryn and I were supposed to take the 11AM bus to calgary. Her mum called and had a freak attack. Lauryn had to go to school. SHe got left at home aone. I thought Devon and caitlin were dating. and freaked out. he called me and talked to me about it. but I had already sent the message. whatever. we got on a bus later and we to calgary. Because my mom couldn't take us, cause she had a date. Mom your never home anymore. you not mom anymore. im so tired of this bullshit. GO BACK TO THE WAY IT WAS! i just want to be happy. I swear. Saturday: Got up. Went To Canadian Idol Auditions. Got turned down. "too powerful for a 17 year old". Uhm Kay. wtf. devon ignored me again all day. we ended up going back to soem guys place where lauryn was all over the guy i was into. thanks for your friendship right there lauryn. okay no but then we go stuck there. cause cabs uin fucking calgary are fucking retarded. and i ended up sleeping on a love seat. while lauryn and damien did whatever the fuck they did on the other couch. Becki threw a hissy fit. and i hated the whole entire world. more then usual. Sunday: Got up took a cab back to becki's where we settled the issue. my mom camew and got lauryn and i stayed. later that night devon msgs me and tells me he lost his phone. slightly skeptical? definitely. whatever. he doesnt care anymore anyways. he never did. he just needed to get laid. isuppose he got what he wanted. Monday: Got up. lazied around all morning. did the dishes. devon finally talked to me. never called me back. and now continues to ignore me. for god sake. i hate myself. so much. I just want to be pretty. I just want somebody to love me. I just want my family to be okay again. i just want some real friends. and because i want so much i know im selfish. whatever. They Say she Died Easy Of A Broken Heart Disease. And thats what it is. no one will love be, and my heart keeps breaking. its a disease, and I will never be rid of it, im begining to think. Terminally Ill.