Tonight is the last night I spent in my mother's house. Hard to believe it was 2 months ago that I moved into here, a broken husk of a man. I cried so much in those first days of being here. The smallest things, the most obscure reminders of my utter failure, forced me to shut myself into my bedroom out of embarrassment of my emotions.

Tomorrow, I leave this town a stronger man. I've spent 2 months all alone but for the rare company of a friend and the responsibility of my son that I so happily have half the time. Its been one of the hardest spaces of time in my life... the shame of a failed relationship, the shame of a grown man and father moving back in with his mother, the guilt at being utterly unable to financially contribute to my mother's utterly bare cupboards. I've felt the world on my shoulders these past months, and I've broken more than once. My youngest sister, who has always looked up to me and seen me as a strong and optimistic man, has seen the deepest darkest parts of depression that I've ever reached.

But its hardened me. For better or for worse, I'm stronger. Like skin under constant stress, I've grown a callous over my emotions and weakness; at least I think that's the best way to explain it. I feel like I'm less prone to being hurt again... but I imagine its going to go both ways. I think that I've also had some enjoyment of life taken away, because I've been taught that caution is safer than passion.

Kelowna is a new chapter though, to be sure. More likely an entirely new book.

Lets see how this protagonist grows.