god i havent updated 4 aaages happy 2005 evry1 went 2 a party last nite, was er, interestin as ne party wiv alcohol is. y do i always cry wen im pissed? wel actaully i spose i had reason 2 do so last nite, i was standin ther pissed watching my best frend smoke herself 2 deth. wot a shitty friend am i 2 just watch that happen. grr bugger me. u wer rite raz smoking rly isnt al its cracked up 2 b. its rly nothing. i phoned bob aswel, wtf was i thinking. i never call bob, i havent actually spoken 2 him 4 over a year. god im so stupid, i wasnt even making ne sens. god i love him. he is so nice 2 me, i dnt deserve him. i plan 2 stay his frend til 1 of us dies, i cant imagaine not bein able 2 text him or talk 2 him if i rly needed 2. and yet i am not hungover. yay. ging is gr8, hes given up t drugs n aint gonna get wasted again. go him. and he isnt stupid enuf 2 by underage ppl 2 many bloody fags....cos he hates it...hehe :) ive seen john in a nu light 2. he gives very gd hugs, bless him. and he asked how i was. he stil scares me tho. went up 2 manchester day after boxing day, 2 visit t grandparents, that was enlightening as ever. my gr8 uncle john has died apparently...dnt rly no hu he is particularly. wel i hav nothing els 2 say particualrly. i want 2 talk 2 bob :( i dnt no wot he is thinking grr :( ah wel xHUGx