I just got back from cafe42. i Swear that place is bad for me. But i know i'm gonne be down there every other week. I tell myself that i'm not bothered about luke, and that whatever happens happens and i'm not gonna go making a prat of myself to try and change that. But then i see him and hes so fit and so sweet and so funny. and i just forget all about that. And then he plays the bass and i just forget about the rest of the world. i cant believe someone can be that insanely talented. he's amazing. he's not gonna be at dyd tomorrow, which is sad. but oh well. I'l see him in two weeks i guess. by which time i'l have forgotten about him again and stopped caring and be back too saying 'nah, i'm really not that bothered'. I see a vicious circle looming nearby. it was the lighting up brentwood thing today. i got to look like a bit of a prat and do a drama. dressed as mary. truly lovely. ah well. it was fun i guess. last night was the 1st full nights sleep ive had in weeks. for once i didnt get woken up by an alarm. i swear hell is full of alarms, and you never sleep but are just constantly being woken up as if you havent had enough sleep. eurgh. I've got silly amounts of tech work going on atm. or more accurately not going on, which is the problem really. I dont know what else i have to talk about. my head is too fuzzy. i need sleep. or maybe luke.