G'day all, and a happy boxing day to you. So yesterday was good. My efforts to make myself be happy worked. although i always knew that the slightest thing would tip me off and i would be in tears again. So i kept away from those kinds of things. Smiled, and generally managed to feel like christmas. Had a good conversation with Joe Petch about Sam. Its weird how everyone else thinks he is a complete asshole for what he did to me. Personally, yes i care, but i don't exactly blame him. Joe was saying how he would hate him if he were me, and Ami, saying i should hit him for being such a jerk. But i could never bring myself to hate him, or hurt him. He didnt do anything that bad, did he? People were saying he was leading me on, personally, i just put that down to my own personal naivety and over-hopeful mind. I don't know whether i wish i could hate him or not. He made me cry solid for a whole day, and then just dismissed it as stupidity and over-emotionalism on my part. And frankly, if i hadnt tried so bloody hard, he would have ruined my christmas. But then, maybe i should be happy that i dont have to try so bloody hard to forgive him. Cos to be honest; theres nothing to forgive. On a lighter note, i have duck pants :O :O :O possibly the most amazing present in the world. And do not fear lesbian lovers one and all, you will see them soon ;). I also have a new duck friend called custard. He is awesome. And very yellow. Thus the name. Well i'm off up to Manchester tomorrow, so you won't be graced with another entry for a couple of days. But when i get back, it'l be all about new year, and hopefully how happy i am that i havent spent it in the abismal way i spent last year. Enjoy your parties and drunkenness and stupidity and hangovers. But enjoy them without me.