'Without you, everything is stupid' Appreciate 1: the truthfullness of that statement and 2: my amazing use of german yea so its from my new mouse mat, which i bought in germany, but i translated it to english *is proud* Without so many people, everything is stupid. I cant quite work out whether it's a good or bad thing. I guess i'm just going through one of those weird times where i imagine what life would be like if certain people died. This probably came from being around old people, including my grandad, who's in a care home. I don't think ive thought this much about euthanasia in a long time. 'Thats the thing about modern medicine, it keeps people alive who should have died a long time ago' , classic bit of Dr Cox there. But it scares me how true it is. I've been thinking an awful lot about whether or not its a good thing (this is where the euthanasia sprouted from). I was walking round the nursing home, finding myself glancing into peoples rooms, and just thinking you should be dead , these old people had no life, i looked at them and saw more pain than happiness, and surely thats the point where nature should be allowed to do its thing. I looked at these strangers and they were just like old people in old peoples homes in the movies, incpapble of doing anything for themselves, their brains failing on them all overn the place, and i just thought,whats the point?. But not with grandad. I saw exactly the same symptoms in him as in alot of these other people, he cant move by himself, cos the storke has paralysed his left side, he's slower and loses his memory a little. Much as i try to convince myself he's as sharp as he always used to be, he's not. And no matter how many times i looked at his smile and knew it was forced, no matter how many sips of coffe he took from that cup which is designed for todlers, no matter how may times i had to sit and wait in silence for him to simply remember what he was about to say, i knew he should not be dead. Because he is my grandad, and he can still talk in his comic welsh accent, and he can still tell jokes which i never know whether my laughter is serious or acted, and he can still laugh at jokes which i tell, he sitll understands whats going on, he still is the same guy he always was, he still manages to look at this terrible time with an optimistic attitude. I saw him three times last week, after the second time, i didnt hink i could go back. I couldnt bear to see him like that. I never realised how selfish i was being, until my dad convinced me to go back the third time. The third time he was fine. He was sitting up in his chair, he was talking pretty much just like he used to, we talked and laughed for ages, and i made him happy, just by being there, i made him happy, and just seeing him smile honestly, hearing him laugh, knowing that i made him happy, made it perfectly worthwhile. Just because i still have the ablitiy to make him happy and make his life worth living, i should damn well be given the chance. 'Thats the thing about modern medicine, it keeps people alive who should have died a long time ago' And i thank God for it.