Body: 10 Firsts: first boyfriend/girlfriend: Zach first bestfriend: Veronica first screen name: Don't even remember first kiss: Zach first piercings: Ears first crush: Don't remember first music: Huh? first stuffed animal: White bear... still got it! first school: Ben Milam 9 lasts: last ciggerette: Weekds ago last kiss: Today last movie seen: Uh... Flight Plan last phone call: Johnny last cd played: Damn, I just listen to the iPod last bubble bath: Wow... its been forever! last time you cried: Um, prolly like a week ago last date: Last Friday last time you ate something: Like 10 minutes ago 8 have you evers: have you ever dated one of your best friends: Yeah... kinda have you ever skinny dipped: :D Yes have you ever been on tv: Yeah have you ever kissed somebody and regretted it: Oh yeah! have you ever fallen in love: Yes have you ever lost someone you loved: Yes have you ever been depressed: Oh yeah have you ever woken up and not known where you were: Um... don't think so 7 places you've been to: 1. Cancun 2. San Antonio 3. Austin 4. Dallas (duh) 5. Arkansas 6. Oklahoma 7. ....... Yeah, i dont travel :( 6 things you've done today: 1. Gone to school (kinda) 2. Had breakfest with Ivy and Johnny 3. ..... :D 4. Ate 5. Went to work 6. Took a shower 5 favorite things in NO order: 1. My cats! 2. My BK 3. My friends 4. Dancing 5. Cuddling, hehe! 4 people you can tell [almost] anything to: 1. Zach 2. The BK 3. J.J. 4. Ivy 3 wishes: 1. Be skinny 2. Get a new car 3. Get alot of money 2 things you want to do before you die: 1. Go to NYC 2. Get married 1 thing you regret: 1. Wow... way too many things and if I had to name one, I prolly wouldnt say it on here :)

Well my weekend was ok. I went to Davids... it was fun, I was way too drunk, but whatever! Had a little after party at the room... that was fun, except for the fight, lol! But it was a good night. I'm so confused!!! I have everything I want... but it seems like theres nothing there! I knew what I was getting myself into, but I honestly didnt think I was gonna feel like this in the end! I'm so stupid, its crazy! Oh well... its too late now, what can ya do

Wow... i dont know what I'm feeling right now, all i wanna do it cry! I saw Will tuesday and ever since, i just don't know what i want anymore. I mean, ive just been thinking about relationships and where I'm going and just nothing makes sense to me right now! Its like the one thing i want right now, i cant have and it breaks my heart because i want it so bad! Yeah, we say things happenen for a reason, but why!? Its so hard for me to smile right now, i dont want to do anything but sit and cry! I wish i had my own place so i could just hide for a while! Last night i was talking to Dylan and i just told him i wanted to get in my car and just drive! I dont care where i'm going, or where i end up... i just want to get away! I think I'm gonna talk to Albert today and tell him that I dont want to talk to him anymore. I'm sure hes gonna be pissed and prolly bitch at me or something, but i dont know what i want right now! I really dont... and he needs to not so much understand it, but just think about it. WOW... I'm at a lose of words right now. I want to sit in bed, close my eyes and just drift somewhere! Why is it that i want it so bad but i will never have it again...

Hey everyone! Well... I was bored and decided to update this damn thing! I finally made a decision... I'm leaving Dallas. Yeah, whoo hoo! I was thinking about it the other day, and its like I never do anything for myself! I mean, I could have been gone 3 years ago, but I didnt because I didnt want to make it hard on my mom. But It seems like this entire time, I've been trying to stay here to make her happy and so she wouldnt be lonely... But its not like I'm happy here. I mean, It just seems like I lose a friend everyday and it really hurts and I think its about time, I did something for myself for a change. I mean, I'm not leaving for at least another year, but i mean, I'll be with my friends and I'll be happy. On my own... FINALLY! I know it will be for the better! But until then, I'm just gonna put up with the bullshit here and do it with a smile on my face! Other then that... nothing has been going on. Talk to Albert every freaking day! I love it! Makes me feel special inside, hehe! Its going no where, I can tell you that now. But for the time being... we can just be cool! Um... Ok, I think thats it. I'm gonna go to bed, I have class super early tomorrow. Later bitches! MUAH!

Hey... its been so long since I wrote in this. Welll, not that long, i deleted some enties. Anyways, things have been ok. I'm still in school, summer 2 now. I passed my summer 1 bio class with a C, thank God! I so thought I was going down... but i didnt! Um, taking history now. My teacher is ok, Cheetos is in my class, we dont talk though, I just look over every now and then to see if hes taking notes. Hes doodling most of the time though, hehe! Today, I feel like ive been so preductive. I went to school at 7:30 am. Then went to a job interview... I dont know how it went, ok i guess but I think I have a chance. Then I went to my aunts house to see how my cousins were doing, ended up staying there for a while and took my cousin to soccer practice, then I went to the gym to work out. Got there late and missed some of my class, but I still got a decent work out. Feel really good right now! YAY! What else has been going on...? Um... I turned 20, that was fun. lol, i think thats about it! Ok... that all i have to say for now. Till next time!

This past week was ok. I didnt do much at all! This weekend was fun. I went to Zachs to watch the Mavs play. And they so kicked ass! WHOO HOOO! It was an awesome game! It was cool, everyone was there. After, me and Amanda went to a party in PG. It was fun, this weird guy kept following me all night! It was a little scurry! I'm done school... YAY! But I start mayterm in like 2 weeks! That should be exciting. I think I'm gonna take it at Richland cause all the classes at Eastfield are full. 4 hr classes, here i come!!! Other then that, everythings the same. I havent talked to E. I guess thats a good thing cause of what happened and everything. I've been talking to his friend Alberto alot though, more then I talked to him. Hes really nice, he told me I could go visit him in Nac whenever I wanted, but I dont know yet. I don't talk to Steven as much. Its cool though, we're just friends. I think its for the best. I'm talking to one of Vicente's friends too. Its weird, I hardly talk to him and now I'm talking to one of his friends. His name is Will. Hes really nice, and from what I've heard hes good looking, lol! Hes coming down this weekend but we can't hang out cause of banquet, but he said we'd figure something out. I'm a little excited. Yeah so banquet is the 14th. I'm kinda excited, but only cause i get to look pretty and Steven is going with me. I hope its fun, its gonna be kinda weird cause he doesnt know any of my friends but I'll make it fun! I'll try. I don't know what we're gonna do after. He cant do anything cause he has to work at like 5 the next morning. I just hope everything goes ok. OK... I think thats it for now, till next time!

Once again... its been forever!!! Well, I havent read my last entry, but from the looks of it, i wasnt doing to good! I dont know why i have the weird mood swings! grrrrr! Like this weekend, I was fine but then my mom brought up the job topic again and it became like the topic of the day! My mom wants me to go talk to someone, she thinks theres like a serious reason as to why i wont go get a job, but i just dont do it cause shes on my ass 24/7 about it! Then she started going off about some other bullshit! I was in the middle was eating and i could feel the tears so i just got up and left and went to my room, or my corner to cry! I really wanna leave so bad, i cant stand not having my own space. At least in Nac, i'd have my best friends, i'd be away from my family and i wouldnt have to hear them bitch anymore! The other day, my mom was bitching again and my aunt said "why do you put her down so much?" I looked at her and i swear I wanted to cry cause its like finally someone sees it! Wow, I was so happy! But it didnt last for long. LOL! Wow, my title really doesnt make any sense now. Well anyways, schools been going ok. I'm the CLAS historian, YAY! I think i'll do a good job at it, but I still can't believe I even ran. Its not like me to do something like this. My weekend at SFA was fun. I saw my friends and Eduardo... We had a good time, the second day at least. It was fun, I missed having someone and I hate to admit that I miss it now. Like i know I dont like him... but then again, when im with him, the feeling its like WHOA! lol! I miss that! I felt really bad cause Steven doesnt know about Eduardo... I love Sergio to death! hehe, he just made my day... look! Sergio says:hey love! i miss you!a rose for you! I dont know what I'd do without him. Anyways... Steven and I have been talking for like a month, maybe a little longer. I really like him, like alot! But i dont think its gonna work out just cause hes ALWAYS busy. but its ok... i cant really complain. I'm supposed to meet up with him today at 1, im a little anxious, and nervous... it needs to be 1 now! lol Well... I guess for the most part, i should be really happy now. Ive gotten rid of so many people in my life, it kinda sucks cause 1 one my best friend, but i guess its for the better! I havent been this happy in a while. I have amazing friends! I honestly couldnt ask for more! OK Ive written way too much! Im gonna go! Till next time!

OK... I have some serious issues! I was happy about 5 hours ago, now i just dont want to be here. I don't know what i get these mood swings! Like when shit doesnt go my way, I like flip out! GR! Anyways, I've learned alot about myself the past few days! A friend of mine was soo blunt with me the other day, I just cried my eyes out, but it wasnt cause I was sad, well i was, but it was because everything he said was so true and I never even paid attention to anything! He said that I'm the only one that can change me and its so true! I just dont have the will power. Today just hasnt been good at all. Ever since I talked to Anthony, I don't feel good enough for anything! I'm not good enough for Anthony cause I'm fat, I'm not good enough for D cause of his stupid cousin! I'm not good enough for that other guy for God knows that reason. I'm starting to think I'm not even good for myself! Its such a depressing feeling, But I refuse to let myself cry over this shit again... AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! I dont know why I feel this way right now. I wish I could just like close my eyes and go back to the old me 5 years ago. It doesnt seem that far back, but its crazy how much I have changed! Everything about me has changed! I dont even talk to my BK anymore! It sucks, I miss them so much! But people change and I'm just now understanding that... it suck! Damn it, I hate crying... I'm just gonna stop writing before this gets bad. Till next time...

Its been so long since I updated this thingy. Lest see, whats going on in my world. Um... school is ok. Me and Ivy has a ball in history! KENNEDY HAS A BUSH!LOL!! What else, school is school, class sucks but my friends are cool... couldnt ask for more. Other then that, I havent been going out alot. I need to. We went out one time during spring break. We went to the Syn Bar, I havent had that much fun in a while! I need to do it again! I was sober till i took Adriana home! haha! I had to chug a hurricane in like 5 minutes, lol and i was having so much fun! I was so out of my lane and people were honking at me, lol! it was fun! This past weekend was ok, I went to Wally World with Adriana and Dina, good times! Then We went to get David and we went to NEw Fine Arts... always a good time! Dina didnt know what it was so we told her it was an Art Gallary! lol! Um... Yesterday I went back with Sergio! That was fun!! I hadnt hung out with him in a while! Other then that, my life has its ups and downs... Boys suck at time! But its cool, I love them all in the end! I think thats its... Later Bitches!!!

I hate how I get in these really depresssing moods! I swear, one minute I'm so happy and the next I'm like crying my eyes out! I hate being gullable! I don't even know whats wrong right now. I was fine today at school, laughing and having a good time with my friends, but its like the second I come home, I feel so alone. I hate guys so much! I hate how they say they are someone else when they know damn well they are lying! Thats all they do, fucking lie! I feel like I have to change who I am in order for this one person to see me for me! What the fuck did I do wrong?? Tell me?? Answers... thast all i want, really it is, but I can't get them out for nothing! I hate this house, I dont even have my own fucking room. I can't even cry in peace! I just want to leave, go somewhere... I dont know where. Just away Why me...

Ok... so if you read my last entry, i talked about me not liking my english teacher. Well turns out, he wasnt in class monday cause he had a heart attack!! They said he like died and came back like 3 times and now hes in a coma... I feel soooo bad! Its not that i didnt like him, i just didnt like his way of teaching... Any who, i feel terrible and i wish him a fast recovery... thats if he does recover. They dont know if hes gonna make it... *tear*

Hey! Its been a while... Things have been ok I guess. They just got really bad today, GR! Well... Lets see, I finished my winter class. I got a B! Go me, lol! Veronica went back to San Marcos, but shes coming back wednesday, yay! Other then that, school is ok. My classes are going really good so far, well except for my english class but thats cause i cant stand my teacher! Today he didnt show, so we left early, i was soooo happy! Um... I think im gonna going a club with Adriana and Ivy, I'm a little excited about that. Meeting new people, thats always good! Things with you know who were going good again but then some shit happened and now I'm all upset again! I hate the way this child makes me feel! I'm not gonna get into it! Hes not worth my tears anymore! GRRR!!! Me and Adriana just had a long convo about this, it was great! I LOVE YOU FREAK! hehe! Other then all of that, life has been ok, getting sick of fake people but hey, what can ya do?? My BK is gone again! Miss then ever so dearly! I can't wait till spring break, i think we're all taking a road trip, should be exciting! I'm sure I'm missing alot of stuff, but I'll try to update this soon! Thats it for now, till next time!

Happy New Year everyone!!! About last night, well... YAY FOR HOTEL ROOMS, MALIBU, WELL NEEDED APOLOGIES (Thanks Nate), "THE DUMB BITCH THAT DID SHOW UP" (Mego), RANDOM CALLS, RANDOM WEIRD ASS BOYS, LATE NIGHT VISITS THAT JUST WONT LET ME GO TO SLEEP (Juan and Andy... I Love you guys!), HAHA, AND THE BEST FRIENDS IN THE WHOLE WIDE WORLD!! I LOVE YOU GUYS!! HERES TO NO DRAMA , NO TEARS, AND NO BULLSHIT IN 2005!!!

PEOPLE ARE SO FUCKING IMMATURE!! I DONT SEE HOW 20 YEAR OLDS CAN BE SO STUPID! THIS HE SAID SHE SAID BULLSHIT IT GAY, ITS STUPID AND IT SHOULD OF ENDED 2 YEARS AGO! YOU PEOPLE HAVE ISSUES! YOU CAN TALK ALL THE SHIT YOU WANT, BUT I AM NOT GONNA SINK DOWN TO YOUR LEVEL! FUCK YOU FOR FUCKING UP OUR RELATIONSHIP! ARE YOU HAPPY BITCH!! ITS OVER!!!

Yesterday I had an emotional break down! It sucked ass! It was so bad, I had to run to Sergio (my ex) for comfort! Thats pretty bad! I was so stressed and just sick of the bullshit! When stress starts effecting your health, it can't be good! I'm so scared I'm gonna have to go to the hospital the next time I get a panic attack! Then Nate brought more and more drama! OMG! I'm so pissed! This shit really should of ended in high school!!!! I couldnt sleep last night cause it was all I could think about! Whats gonna happen now... well lets see, I could lose a really good friend cause people are talking shit or I might just walk away cause I dont wanna be in the middle! I can't believe I'm being acused of saying shit that I didnt even say! I don't know what the fuck is going on but yet my name is in the middle of all of this! OMG I FUCKING HATE THIS! I NEVRE THOUGHT IT WAS GONNA COME TO SOMETHING LIKE THIS! WHY IS MY LIFE GOING TO SHIT NOW!! EVERYTIHNG WAS SOOOOOO GOOD! NOW I'M BACK WERE I STARTED! IT SHOULDNT BE LIKE THIS... AT ALL!! WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON PEOPLE!!!!

Hey... the past few days have been ok, not the best at all. I passed my reading class... YAY! All smiles there! Now I just have to wait till tomorrow and then I'm done! So happy about that. Only like 2 more weeks of school. I guess thats good. I'm really not to excited about the break though. I think I'm gonna take a class during winter term just to get away from everyone... not cause i want to, everything has just been weird lately. Last night, I went to Adriana's cousins Sweet 16! It was fun, i wish I had danced... I miss the old days. Well either way i was wearing heels and that wouldnt of worked. Me, Adan and Zach left cause they wanted to go to the strip club... I was gonna go but I backed out at the last minute! I ended up going to Nates and we drive around while he got high. Then we met up with Veronica and Danny and went looking for haunted placed in Dallas, it was kinda fun. Other then that, the past few days havent been the best. I think me and Nate are starting to talk less and less... I think it could just be me though. I really really need to stop liking him! Its just hurting me tooooo much! I mean, everyday I see him and I talk to him and think about what a great guy he is, and then I'm forced to remember its never gonna happen! Its getting to me so bad that I'm find myself crying about it like everyother night! I hate it! I started to diet again. Maybe he doesnt like me cause I'm fat! If thats the case, thats just sad. Either way, I'm tired of looking the way I do... and I might go to padre for spring break... and I'm NOT going like this. So yeah... i'm gonna try to lose 30 lbs, I've already lost 10 so it shouldnt be that hard. But I'm seriously gonna stick to it! no bullshit!! God I hate myself...

OMG! So much for getting shitfaced last night! Nate thought he could drink... bad idea! We went to Adans house, drank a little. Then we went on a beer run, ran into Scott Velancia and Blake Hunt. They ended up coming back to Adans so we could go to this party at Sean Markeys house. Well... When we got back to Adans, Nate just passed out! Like he was out of it for like ever. I felt bad cause we didnt end up going to the party, but there was no way Nate was gonna make it! I ended up taking care of him most of the night. And he said he wasnt gonna babysit me last night... it was so the other way around. I really don't mind at all though! I wasn't gonna just leave him there! I care about him too much to do that! Well yeah, he was passed out on the toilet for like 3 hrs, he finally moved at around 4ish. I got him changed and put him down to sleep, LOL! Thats sounds funny! Yeah, then he woke me up at 6am! LOL! I'm way to nice, it sucks! Its all good though, hes ok now! Tonight, I'm off to the symphony with Sergio... I really don't wanna go with him, but I guess I'll be ok, its only for like 2 hrs. After, we are going our serperate ways and hopefully i can make up for last night. It doesnt start till 8 but I have to leave by 7 and since I have no clue what I'm wearing... I'm gonna go start getting ready! hehe, till next time everyone!

Helloooooooo! The past few days have been ok... nothing too fun has happened. School is going good, i finally finished my reading class which is soooo kick ass! I don't know how I finished it! I'm sure Nate pushing me and going to the library to work on it has a lot to do with it! We're still hanging out alot and everyone thinks we're an item but thats not the case at all! Mego thinks we act like a married couple, but i dont see it. Yeah we hang out alot, but seriously, we enjoy eachothers company and thats where it ends. I'm not saying i wouldnt mind if it went anywhere... but im more then sure its not so, whatever. Tonight, i'm supposed to hang out with him and Adan. I havent been out in a while, like i have... but its nothing like getting shit faced or anything. Now that Nate is 21 and Adan has his own place, its soooo gonna happen. I'm excited! I'm gonna get drunk and rape Nate, lol! JK! I told him what i was getting him for christmas, hes gonna love it! I'm way excited! Everyone is coming back next week! I'm so excited! I havent seen so many people in like forever! Julian and Katy are coming back from St. Louis! and Mari is coming back! Lucy, Lynzie! Omg! its gonna be so great! BK is finally gonna be together again! Thanksgiving is in like less then a week. Its gonna sucks. I think evryone is gonna go to my aunts house for dinner... I really don't wanna go cause my uncles family is gonna be there and its just not the same. I'm more then sure I'm gonna be alone on thanksgiving. Its all good... just me and my cats. We'll be fine. The day after thanksgiving, we're taking our family picture! I'm excited! Then christmas... WOW. Half of my family is gonna go to Mexico, so its gonna suck cause theres only gonna be like 10 people here. gr! Its gonna be great though cause Mego is house sitting in highland park and she has a huge house for like a week and EVERYONE is gonna be back by them! its gonna be SWEET! After Christmas, Nate is gonna go camping... fun stuff. He asked if I wanted to go down and chill with him for a night, I said yeah. It should be fun, I really wanna go camping. Its only gonna be like one night, buts its all good! Um... what else. The lady called me about the Job. I think im gonan take it cause I wanna move out sooooo bad! My mom said she'd help me and if i get this job, I can move out within like 3 months! Lets pray I get this job! No more mom calling me and telling me to come home! I can have people over WHENVER!!! OK... I'm writing way too much! Till next time!!

ok so i just took this silly quiz about you know who (tee hehe) and this is what is says *huge smile* Is He Interested?All signs point to yes! He is definitely hot for you and is probably waiting to see if you feel the same way. Perhaps you should give him a few signs that you like him too. A little bit of flirting never hurt anyone. He'll be your boyfriend in no time! Is he interested? Find out at DatingTips.ws

lalala I'm bored! I just got home from Nates. We were gonna go study at the library at Eastfield, but yeah... that didnt happen. I went to his house and we were in bed for like ever... nothing happened! Just alot of cuddling which is always good! Still nothing going on between us, its alllllllllll good! I'm happy. Tonight we're going to dinner... fun stuff! After, I dont know what I'm doing. I'm hoping to get some homework done... Yeah, how lame am I, doing homework in a friday night. Hehe, its all good! Wow... I really have nothing to say. Oh well, till next time!