Why is it so hard for her to understand! My mom has be buggin me to get a job and I'm trying, I really am! Today, she told me to call my old boss...I was gonna but the phones are down over there. Whenever my mom calls, she asked me the same questions and it gets old! Today, I was on my way to get something to eat and I saw my mom coming home! SHE LEFT WORK TO MAKE SURE I CALLED! Then she followed me to the fast food place I was going and like drove by my side till I got my food buggin and nagging while I'm in line!! I was like, what the fuck if your deal, I'm gonna call. I didnt just cause I wanted to make her mad! Now I'm sitting her crying my eyes out cause I'm just so sick of having her bitching and bugging me all the time. I know shes doing it cause she loves me and she wants to see me doing good again but she doesnt see that her buggin is killing me! I know whats good for me and what I need to do, but i chose not to do anything! But seriously...I have other things to take care of first, but I'm not even gonna bother tell her cause she wont understand...she never does. Sometimes I just dont want to be here anymore, it hurts to sit here and feel sorry for myself...to see all my other friends actually doing something with their lives and then look at myself and see that I'm going no where! Everything is just so scary right now and I dont know what to go, where to go...right now, i just want to leave...I dont even want to see my mom today or talk to her cause i know shes gonna yell and shes gonna end up going to her room and not talking to me till tomorrow, so whats the use. I'm sick of crying I'm sick of being uspet and sad I'm sick of being here! I'm sick of living a life that I cant be happy in! I just wanna leave!