Listening to: this sucks...
Feeling: longing
OK... I have some serious issues!
I was happy about 5 hours ago, now i just dont want to be here. I don't know what i get these mood swings! Like when shit doesnt go my way, I like flip out! GR!
Anyways, I've learned alot about myself the past few days! A friend of mine was soo blunt with me the other day, I just cried my eyes out, but it wasnt cause I was sad, well i was, but it was because everything he said was so true and I never even paid attention to anything! He said that I'm the only one that can change me and its so true! I just dont have the will power.
Today just hasnt been good at all. Ever since I talked to Anthony, I don't feel good enough for anything! I'm not good enough for Anthony cause I'm fat, I'm not good enough for D cause of his stupid cousin! I'm not good enough for that other guy for God knows that reason. I'm starting to think I'm not even good for myself! Its such a depressing feeling, But I refuse to let myself cry over this shit again...
AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! I dont know why I feel this way right now. I wish I could just like close my eyes and go back to the old me 5 years ago. It doesnt seem that far back, but its crazy how much I have changed! Everything about me has changed! I dont even talk to my BK anymore! It sucks, I miss them so much! But people change and I'm just now understanding that... it suck!
Damn it, I hate crying...
I'm just gonna stop writing before this gets bad. Till next time...
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