Wow, its been forever since I have written in this. Lots of stuff has happened. Christmas was fine, I got tons of money. New years was a blast! I went to my friend Julians house...had tons of fun! I spent $70 on alcohol, that wasnt cool. It wasnt all for me (I'm not that big of an alcoholic) Christmas completely left me broke. I have no money what so ever! It sucks! I was gonna go to the movies tonight but I cant cause i'm broke...so instead I'm gonna go babysit for some extra cash. Well i have been doing alot of thinking and I really want to have someone. Like i need a boyfriend! LOL! After new years me and my friend julian have been spending alot of time together but I know its nothing. He is tlaking to his girl from school and like before it was always like we go places and everyone has a date but me and julian so hey, hes my date. But now he has someone...and that just leaves me...and it sucks! Like I hate being the 5th and 7th and 9th wheel! it sucks! I just wanna be loved again. I mean, I'm getting older and I'm still alone and i think its time that things changed! Like I have a crush but this guy doesnt even notice me the way I notice him! My friend Lindesy said that me and Julian have something but I really think there is nothing there...she told me not to rule it out. we'll see how that goes. He's leaving wendesday and hes no coming back till like november! How sad is that. Well i'm gonna go, I have to get ready to go babysit! till next time!