Jessica I do not feel like i am a god. I feel like I am an animal trapped in a world that I have no control over. I have been lied to in all directions. By to many people for me to know the truth any more. If it was Angie that was lieing to me then I am sorry. I dont know who is telling the truth any more. I dont care. I need to be alone...away from all this for some time again. IM tired of everything that I do being spun against me like I am some power hungry tyrant. I have shed to many tears of pain, to many hours of sorrow for what I have lost. I honestly say I have no power becasue all that I am is being tied into keeping myself alive. I am but a shell of a human being right now. I can do nothing for any one. All I can be is for myself for now. That will change when I am ready till that time I can not bear any additional burdens. It as I can do to keep the demon in me quietly sleeping and keep the grip of despair from consuming my waking hours. And finally what is it that you are protecting Angie from exactly. I would really like to know. AS for Malachi I have forgiven him as much as I can till he has earned teh rest. I can only feel pity for him that he does not yet have the stength to be free. I will forgive everyone in time but I am to scarred to feel everything I need to feel to truly give forgiveness.