Well for an update I ended up having to move back in with my parents. I have not been able to find any work I am poor and tired. I feel my self slowly falling back into depression again but it has nothing to to do with the recent past. I have been dating a girl names tasha and she thought she was pregnant, and she was. She made it for a bout a month before she miscarried. This kinda thing places a weird sense of dread on me. Mingled with a agonizing selfish relief. its been really hard on here. She just found out yesterday that she had had a miscarriage when she went into for an pregnacny exam. She has been having nightmares since then. I watched over her last night and guarded her sleep but i cant do that every night. I wish things could of went better but they didnt so know i have to help her through this hard time. She wants a baby really badly and most likely cant do to some of the problems she has. That part of why it is so hard on her. Though the timing was bad for both of us, the thought of having a kid is something thats been on my mind more and more and more as I get older. Im not finacially ready yet but i could of made it if I had too. Oh well time will move on and pains will heal. Its still just rough.