am i part of the cure, or am i part of the disease?

by bri217
Listening to: jacks
Feeling: fedup
jeez louise, what's even going on? i know this is what God wants me to go through, i know i need to, but i can't do it. i hate this fact of knowing that the 3 people i shared almost my entire life w/ in the last 3 years are almost the farthest thing away. and people say crap, like it's my fault, but how can it be? did i push myself away? did i judge and comment on everything i said myself? i feel like i wanted the best of both worlds. like, i wanted to have the best friends in the world, cuz everyone needs friends, but i also wanted james. cuz they all mean the world to me, really. but then i just felt like they all expected that i would ditch them, so they like pushed me away before i could push them away. but i never would've! i promise! i need you guys, for real. but if i'm just gonna feel judged and attacked every time i try to talk to you about something, i don't need that. you guys were never like that. and it's probly true, i probly did change. but i think it's a combination of all of us changing. cuz now i feel like we all want different things from life and we used to be on (almost) the same page. and now we're in different books! like i've never, EVER felt more distant from you guys. we might as well may not even be friends. and i just wanna know how you guys feel, cuz i can almost guarantee that i'm not the only one feeling like this. i think i'm just saying in words what everyone else is thinking. idk guys, i love you and i want you in my life, but i guess i just feel like you guys don't want the same? like i feel like everytime i try to talk to you about what's going on in my life, it's put on the back burner. and i really don't feel supported in my relationship w/ james at all, i just want you to know that. idk, talk to me, please?
Read 10 comments
bri, how can you say some of those things? i know what you;re feeling but on't ever think that i don't support you and james. yes, i don't get upset sometimes about it and we argue about it, but that's how we make things better, by talking about it. you know i love james and i love that fact that you two are together. also, no matter how far away i go, i will never stop being your friend. you mean to much to me and we've shared some....
.... great times over the past three years. i never want to forget that. you are one of my best friends for life (cliche i know). i know that a lot has changed between us (the four of us) but i think we all need to get together again and forget all the nonesense that has occured this year and act like we did last year. we had such great times and everyone knew that we were awesome. this summer we need to do some major bonding before we leave....
.... i think it may help. and we all need to dicuss what's going on with us. no matter what. ok. just rememeber i love you bunches. and nothign will change that.
i think things this year have deff been the most awkward/difficult out of everything we've all been through. and it is in no way just one persons fault...i agree that its a combination of pretty much everything in everyones lives. i think that we deff need pull an all nighter and just get everything off of our chests. cuz ur right, i think that we all have something that needs to be said, but it hasnt been said yet. i feel the most distant...
from you. i dont kno if its just cuz i dont really have any classes with you or what. but i deff feel it. and it sucks. i love you to death all of the awesome times weve had doing all of the randomest things ever...like eating cereal at 5:30 am by the side of the road waving to cars! its things like that that i think about and just get sorta down knowing that things are different now. and trust me, i need you in my life too....
we're the 4-headed monster. we need to stick together! so i agree with kris, we need to hang out asap and talk about everything basically. just dont ever forget that i do love you. no matter how distant we feel you are one of my best friends no matter what.
ok i deff feel it too.maybe its bc we dont see each other as much as we used too in class and everything but we have all drifted and i dont like it one bit.this year has been really stressful and there has been a ton of crap to deal with at least on my end so i dont think that made it any better or easier for all of us to keep up with each other.i deff agree on the all nighter sleepover.we all just have to get together and talk about that has....
...been goin on in all of our lives lately.i know what your talking about when you say that you feel distant from us and believe me, we feel it too, but i know that deep down you know that we are always here and we are gonna be friends for ever and nothing is gonna change that.our bond is way to strong to be broken by a few months of confusion.i know im not speaking for only myself when i say that i love and support you in everything that you...
...do and i feel terrible that you think you have to choose between us and james.thats not how it is at all and when you said that you wanted both, you got your wish.we just have to swt aside another super happy fun day when we can just dedicate it to the girls and be awesome again like we always are.i love you a ton and pretty much love is thickest thing out there, maybe even thicker than blood.so just accept it girl, your stuck with me for life
I FREAKING LOVE YOU BRIANA BETH DAWSON WITH ALL THE HEART AND EVEN SOME MY LEG, WHICH IS PRETTY BIG MIGHT I ADD <3