Dear Daddy, How much do you love me? Am I perfect for you? Or do you need me to change some things? Is it my clothes that you hate so much? I can change them, My shirts can get tighter, or do they need to get baggier? Are my pants tight enough, or are they too loose? Is it my socks? I know they aren’t the whitest, But I could bleach them. Oh daddy, what is it? You still stare at me in disgust. Is it my hair? I know it’s not long, but it’s not short. Just tell me how long you want it to be. Is it the color of my hair? It could be redder. Or do you not like the color red? Daddy don’t just stand there, You make me sad. Tell me who you want me to be. Is it because I’m not smart? Is it how I speak? Or how I think? I can take classes for these. Daddy, tell me please. Can’t you see my eyes are flooding? Is it the boys I love? Or are they too much of men? I won’t love them daddy. Just stop standing there staring at me. I’ll change for you daddy, I promise you that. But if I don’t make it, then just remember, I love you too. Dear Rodney, How much do you know me? Am I not perfect for you? Or do you need me to change some things? Is it my clothes that you hate so much? I can’t change who I am, My shirts can’t get tighter, and they don’t need to get baggier? Are my pants tight enough, or are they too loose? Is it my socks? I know they aren’t the whitest, But I don’t have time to bleach them. What is it? You still stare at me in disgust. Is it my hair? I know it’s not long, but it’s not short. I like my hair. Is it the color of my hair? It can’t be redder. Do you not like the color red? Don’t just stand there, I can’t be you. And you can’t tell me who you want me to be. Is it because I’m not smart? Is it how I speak? Or how I think? I have taken classes for these. Will you just tell me. Can’t you see who I am? Is it the boys I love? Or are they too much of men? I won’t stop loving them. Just stop standing there staring at me. I can’t change for you, I can’t promise you that. But if it makes a difference, then just remember, I love you too. these are for our english lit project and i have such a high right now! i feel like i am going crazy! i mean i love writing, even though most of my stories have death or something in them! but what else is so deep that you can feel it when you write it! like a while ago, like 8th grade, most of my stories had cutting or burning in them, and you could just feel the pleasure they got off the pain, and as you kept writing you wanted to be them! i mean that's where i got catherine and ellen, they are women i write about, and i could only wish i could be! mostly catherine, she isn't insecure at all, and ellen, can keep any man happy, and i wish that i could do the same! lol! you guys probably think i am crazy but this high i have right now, is the best thing i'll ever have, i mean it beats anything sexual! i can be anyone, or anything, and i dont feel the pain that currupts my life! i can feel the pleasure of cutting without doing it! i can feel the security of being held, with out the actually physical activity of having a boyfriend. i can do anything! i could fly if i wanted to! i wish you guys could feel this happiness! well love you all! Rae, cat and ellen!