these are confessions made by real people but most likely not true but still funny as hell I was at a party once with some friends and someone recommended coke. So i tried snorting it. But the ice cubes got stuck up my nose When i was 11, i spit in the mailbox and told my mom the mailman did it. he was fired. a year later he killed himself i admit it.... i look at frog porn. i love those sexy frogs. especially the jamster frog oh shiz gotta go masturbate brb My Grandmother had Alzheimer's disease, she forgot who I was. A few days later I proceeded to have sex with her, saying we did this all the time. I felt really guilty about it for the first 5 months but I couldn't find a way to stop myself. She submitted to my every sexual fantasy untill passing away just recently. I killed my neighbor because he was sleeping my wife. I think my wife knows but I'll kill her to if she tells anyone. I hate my life, I'm scared to go to prison. I jerk off while seeing Pokemon everyday at 3. Im obsessed with Pikachu...sad isnt it. I once lit a match and shoved it up my ass while screaming "fire in the hole!" I was a bit drunk my sister is a big fat lesbian who is in love with a dwarf I once took a tray from a Chinese restaurant. The lady who gave me my food was being a jerk so I got her back by taking a tray. It's still in my car because I don't know what to do with it. I like eating scabs Alright jackass. I fake it. EVERY TIME. For the last five years. Eat that, you bastard. I haven't brushed my teeth in over a week I once rubbed my penis on my family's pet macaw. It took a chunk out of the foreskin and I now have a scar. Last night, instead of working on a project that's due in three days, I read porn the entire time. I had sex with my poop. It fely all gooey and i likes it. After i fif that I had sex with my computer but my penis got stuck Sometimes I want to eat my friends. Not in the kinky way. It scares me because I am a vegetarian. i wank reading archie comics haha, AMERICANS, hahahhaha. I'm sorry you do it to yourselves. haha eat it bitchs. (sad thing-he spelled bitches wrong) Sis it was my penis on display and not my thumb. I also sexually abused your friend she didn't make it up. I was 12, she was 8 When I'm bored, I use a morpher program to morph ugly people's faces together to make them uglier. I once had sex with a dog. I once fucked my best friends sister. She's 12. I'm 18. I snuck a bag of blood in a cooler from a High School blood drive into my jacket pocket and walked out. Then I sold it to this guy on the street for $65. I really want to sell more. Last Night I put my little sisters hampster in the microwave. It exploded. I feel really bad, I dont know why I did it...I just get these violent urges sometimes...I hope she doesnt find out. i have a really big penis, i sleep on my stomach and i cut a hole in my bed for comfort. I like to eat my own poo. It tastes like pickles.