I don’t even feel like writing this today. Shit is messed up. People make me feel so incredibly bad for caring about them, I don’t know what else I can do. I do my best to understand and listen and do everything I can, and I just…I don’t even know anymore…what else can I do? I didn’t even start reading my English yet cause I’ve been sitting here all night trying to fix a friendship. Everything else comes second to this; my LIFE comes second to fixing this friendship…how sad is that…I’m sorry I have a “perfect” life, I’m sorry ok. I’m sorry I can’t fully understand cause it’s not how I was raised, but I listen, I understand all I can possibly understand without living it, what more do you want me to do? Trade lives with you? Cause I would in a second…do you even know that? And I’m not just saying that, like you think I am. You really have no idea, there is not much I wouldn’t do for you, but yeah, I know it doesn’t matter…it doesn’t matter that I put my life on hold for this, it doesn’t matter that I can’t sleep at night because of this, it doesn’t matter that I put myself in the middle of all this anger and get yelled at and get people pissed at me, all for you…what more can I do? What do I have to do to prove myself to you? You’ve both taken the absolute best of me, and it doesn’t matter to either of you that I am constantly saving your asses with each other. I kiss both your asses to try and not get you mad and not get you mad at one another. You don’t appreciate me. You take me for granted. What if I wasn’t here? I’d like to think it would make a difference in this, maybe not…cause I think I make a difference, again maybe not…if me dying would make this better I’d do it, sound a little extreme? I just call it being a friend. A good friend, someone that’s been there, is there, and always will be there, no matter how I get treated, how much I get yelled at, and how much people “get pissed off” at me. I must be crazy, or so I’ve been told, by more than one person, mind you. People honestly think I’m crazy, but I don’t care, it doesn’t matter as long as I can make this even the slightest bit better. They don’t understand me. They don’t understand you. They don’t understand friendship. I just can’t do this. Maybe I would be more understanding if you told me what was really going on, you hardly ever tell me anything about it… …thanks for never even bothering to talk to me about this…