I feel like total garbage right now. My best friend hates me because I thought for one second about dating this guy. I know he’s worried about me, I know he cares about me so much, that’s why I can’t under any circumstances ever date this guy ever. I didn’t want to upset him, by any means, I was just talking, and he got so mad…he basically told me that he would never speak to me again if I came within ten feet of this guy, I don’t understand, and he’s gonna be mad at me for saying that but I really really don’t. I believe you. I trust you. More then anyone in the world, if you think this isn’t good for me, I won’t do it, and you know that. I value your opinion and I’m sorry if me thinking about this upsets you, it upsets me too. This isn’t me. He isn’t my type, I know. It scares me. I’ve never been like this before. I’m scared for myself. I’ve always been this little good girl who never did anything bad, I’m tired of that (not saying at all that this would be a way to change that, it would, but not in the way I want) What exactly is the definition of a “bad girl type” but they aren’t sluts? I’m sorry then…sorry I was never what you wanted, sorry I even brought this up again, if you haven’t noticed I haven’t really been the same all week. I’m so sorry I made you mad, it was not my intention, thank you for sharing your thoughts on this, even though that made you mad too. I respect your opinion more than anyone’s, I am not disregarding what you are saying, I’m hearing it and I’m listening to it. I’m just tired of being the “good girl” I’m tired of it. I have been single for four years. I can’t do it anymore. I want someone, not necessarily this someone, but someone. I am in absolute tears right now because I cannot stand you being mad at me. I didn’t do anything wrong but I’m apologizing because I can’t stand it. You honestly think what you say has no affect on me? You are so wrong. Everything you say means the world to me…I can’t do this…I’m sorry, I couldn’t be more sorry for anything in my life…talk to me if you can even look at me…ten words that absolutely broke my heart...