Well I really have no idea what’s happening in my life right now. I’m still happy, I just don’t feel right, I feel like something isn’t right. That’s a gay feeling to have considering the circumstances. I dunno I’m so unsure of everything now, like I can’t trust anything, I guess I can thank Jerome for that one, but there really is no reason to feel like that now, but I still do and I hate it. Every time someone doesn’t talk to me or doesn’t respond to me I feel like they don’t want me around or like me anymore and I know that’s the stupidest thing ever, I don’t know what’s wrong with me. Just cause someone doesn’t answer me one night on aol doesn’t mean they don’t like me anymore, right? Right. Maybe they were having a bad day, maybe they are just busy, and that’s fine, it really is, I just I don’t know, I feel so gay now about everything and I hate it because I know it’s because of everything that has happened in the past like month. I just have to keep telling myself that they are two totally different people. They are nothing alike and never will be, but I guess that’s the price I have to pay for trusting that asshole and I’m more than willing to accept that, it’s just hard, especially when you’re trying to be so happy with someone new. People just need to stop giving me their opinion, especially when it’s negative and makes me doubt myself and the good in my life. That’s a whole other problem. When you’re in a situation like this, you don’t want people telling you you are doomed to failure before anything even starts, and that’s what happened to me and now I’m second guessing everything and asking why about absolutely everything that is happening, and I HATE IT! This is good, I know it, and it’s going to be good. If for some reason it doesn’t work out, it doesn’t work out, but I’m going to do everything in my power to make sure that it works out. I just hope that nothing changes, at least not as fast as it did last time. I just want to be with him and I want him to want to be with me too. I think that’s true, it’s what he told me and it’s what I’m going to trust.
One week.