Ok this is my fourth and final entry for the day, I think. What a fucking day, aggravating as all hell, all around. Is this what I deserve? Is it? Really? Apparently someone thinks it is. Am I really THAT bad a person? Apparently. When does this end? So many questions…so many things people don’t know about how I feel. But yanno it doesn’t matter cause nothing I say or do or think matters to anyone. I’d really like for once in my life to make a difference in someone’s life, I really would. Put that on the to-do list before I die. But yanno apparently I don’t deserve to be anyone’s friend, cause I am such a horrible person I should just die. Would that make you all happy? Would it really? Would that finally be good enough for you? Me being dead. Would that put a little smile on your face? I sure hope so. I’m so stupid. How do I go on thinking these “friends” actually care about me? I have two people that actually love me, three depending on which way the wind is blowing that day, but yanno what I’m happy. I’m happy with those two/three people because I know no matter what they are there. If everyone else leaves me, it doesn’t matter cause I have those people there. Cause its not about how many people love you, it’s about the quality and substance behind the love that you have. I’d rather have one good friend love me than no one at all, who wouldn’t? I’d rather have that one person love me than have 20 people that say they do but never show it. Everyone is so quick to put down everything in their lives but did you ever once stop to think about all the good that you have in it? I doubt it, because its easier to be miserable than it is to be happy. It’s so easy to pick out what is wrong with everything but the challenge is to take something that is wrong and find the good in it. Look at what you have, who you have, think about it/them, and thank God for everything that is good in your life, no matter how small or unimportant it may seem, thank Him for what’s good instead of criticizing Him for not giving you what you think you need. Because when it all comes down to it, if it was meant for you it will happen, if it wasn’t it won’t. And so concludes my inspirational paragraph for tonight. I think I did a pretty good job of turning a totally hostile situation into a nice inspirational paragraph, enjoy or not, makes no difference to me anymore. Don't fucking say you don't have anyone.