Ok so another night I can actually stay up and talk to people and I can’t. Why is it every time I wanna stay and talk no one can but when everyone else wants me to stay I stay until the very last moment I can until I get physically dragged off the keyboard and to bed. This is like the only night this whole vacation I can actually stay up and I won’t be tired, that figures. Cause wow I have to get up everyday, except Tuesday- which is in fact the last fucking day of Easter vacation. Oh well Karen stayed over last night cause of the weather and we had a great time, we watched Mean Girls and laughed our asses off (def a new inside joke) So then we were supposed to go with her mom today to Allentown but her mom didn’t wanna drive cause of the snow so we just went. We went all over to find prom dress shops and we found one, one measly shop. So one our way home we stopped in Northampton and Palmerton. She found her dress in Palmerton and I was so happy for her. It’s a gorgeous dress and it looks gorgeous on her. I’m so glad she got a dress she loves, I wanted her to love her dress as much as I love mine. Too bad I still have no replacement date, a beautiful dress with no date, great. (thanks.) oh well…what the hell am I going to do? Anyway, then I went to eat with Chad. I had a good time, as always, even though I’m not really sure he did, I can never tell. I can’t really do anything anymore. I’m in the middle of this whole situation and I have no idea what to do. This has become my life and I don’t even know what the hell to do…If you wouldn’t be such a fucking asshole about everything, maybe this would be easier. Maybe I wouldn’t have to feel useless here; maybe I could actually help this again. I used to be good at it, but now I’m not and whose fault is it? mine…for not finding the perfect thing to say or knowing exactly what to do. Yanno it’ll never sit ok with me that I can’t do this anymore, it still makes me feel like shit when I try for hours to make something happen and nothing ever does. And who do I blame? Myself. Maybe I’m not the best person for the job anymore… I stay wrecked and jealous for this.