Well it has been a very interesting week. College is cool. I love my classes…well except Mr. Salary and the stupid Indian man who tells stories and jokes when he should be teaching us math, whatever though I guess. All my classes for my major are awesome. I’m so excited I actually get to take classes that everyone wants to be there for. It is a very nice feeling, even though I do have to read about 50 more pages of my stagecraft book before the weekend is done. So yeah I came home for Labor Day even though I said I wasn’t going to. I was hinting to my parents that everyone was going home so I guess my mom mentioned it to my dad and he missed me so decided I should come home, pretty sweet. So yeah I came home yesterday and went to the Marian game. It was weird going cause usually I knew exactly who was gonna be there and who I was meeting but this time I didn’t, so I was a lil hesitant about going but I guess my new found college confidence pushed me to go anyway. I saw Bridget as soon as I walked up towards the field and I got into the game on the claim that I was “helping the band†yeah right…anyways on our way over to the stands I enquired as to who all was over sitting and I found out that Matty was there…which, once I got there and sat down, was one of the weirdest and hardest experiences of my life. I didn’t know what to say and he didn’t either so we kinda just didn’t say anything to each other which made me want to just get up and leave…I really didn’t think I was gonna be able to do it. So then Eric and Amanda and I got up and walked around, cause that’s what I’m used to doing at football games, then we stopped to watch the field show and Jared attached himself to me…not that I minded cause I kinda attached myself to him too. We had a good time, sometimes he’s awesome like that. Thank God he was there actually cause if it wasn’t for him it prolly would have been one of the worst nights of my life. So then, right when I thought Matty was going to just not say anything to me all the entire night he came up to Jared and started talking to him, then walked away, then started a convo with me. It was weird to say the least…I mean he and I never really talked about anything to begin with so just imagine how weird and uncomfortable this situation was for me. I dunno as much as I wanted to come home, now that I’m here it’s like I have all this unfinished business to deal with. At college I could just forget about it, even though I never really did…or tired for that matter. Cause part of me doesn’t want to forget, it is still so hard to let go, especially now after seeing him…I just wanted to put my arms around him and have everything go back to the way it was, but I knew I couldn’t. Just looking at him brought back a myriad of things into my mind. I haven’t stopped thinking about it since. Then I have that whole other drama to deal with, which I cannot even begin to talk about here, it’s just something else that totally made my life so much more complicated than I would have liked…oh well what else is new…drama loves me. Anyway I can’t even talk about that. There are just 100 and one things going through my mind right now it’s hard for me to even focus on one thing at a time. Apparently I also looked totally amazing last night, go figure, cause two people told me I did. I was confused; unfortunately I’m sure Matty didn’t even notice…the one person I actually care about their opinion and want to think I looked amazing…
Tomorrow I’m going to visit Karen, I cannot wait! I hope I don’t get lost or anything stupid like that. I’m going down after lunch and I’m spending the good part of the day there. I’m so excited especially cause we are both homesick like crazy and I got to come home and she didn’t, so I’m being an awesome friend and bringing home to her, or at least something that reminds her of how things were when she was home…ME. I have so many surprises for her, I just want it to be an awesome day for her, I hope I succeed, I’m sure considering the nature of the things I have to give her :-p ok so I was hoping for this entry to be so much more than it was…I wanted it to be a real deep one cause I had a lot of time, but then I got busy making and doing things and by the time I actually sat down to start writing this it was 2:30 and my brain died…I’m disappointed in myself, but I guess what else is new…I’ll try again tomorrow…
…Such random things bring back so many memories of how much you really were into me…