for the first time in awhile i feel content. today i got a second job and now i can afford all my bills and with some saving here and there i can finally afford to do different things that i like. i knew that once i either found another job or started school i would feel better. its nice. i dont have nearly as many worries now. i know that now i can finally get things moving along a good path. but like with all things in life, there are downs with every up...... G (roomie), had something come up with school again. this summer he was declined for a part in the business grad school here at indiana U. he was really looking forward to getting in but after that it got him really down in out. then he decided to go SPEA. this was the nly other major he wanted and as such he set his spirits high. unfortunatly, he was given some rather disturbing news in dealing wiht that. the school told him he could not take that as his major even though he only has one or more semester left in school due to some bullshit technicallity. on thursday he will meet with the dean of admissions and if things dont go the way we hope then it looks as if i will be heading back to california at the end of this semester...... i just was getting used to this whole moving thing too... i know that if i do go back i will be a much stronger person and i will be able to do well but at the same time this was my thing. i wanted to move to get away from things. i wanted to grow up and move on with my life. it sucks knowing that there is a possibility to moving back home. dont get me wrong, if i were to move home it would also make me somewhat happy being able to see my younger brother and sister grow up and being able to see my friends again. but i have friends out here now. good friends. candace and i are doing well. i like her a lot and likewise. i just started to feel good again and now this. life is so strange, but i appreciate that strangness. we cannot control what course we must take sometimes. if we could control it every time we wanted to, life would be boring. in either case, i know i will be ok and do fine. i just feel sad about it. i hope the best for garrett and hope he can get this SPEA shit taken care of the way we want to see it done. all i feel right now is indeifference to everything. its wierd.... no matter what outcome i will still not being seeing friends for a long time, if ever, depending on which side the coin lands. and knowing that is bothersome.