Life....... I found the meaning of it.... Do you wanna know what it is? I bet you do.... Life = questions with no answers I know... its not what i wanted to hear either.. so when shit hits the fan and you look back at a year or so later or even more time than that, do you remember what caused it? why it happened? how shit got so fucked up? how about that first spark of love you first felt for someone? is that still there yeras later? does it fuck your relationships up now? what about that time you ran from the cops or from your parents. you didnt wanna get caught and you didnt did you... do you wish you had been caught? where would you be now? on a better path? remember that time you were so drunk you said youd never drink again? you know you do, or maybe you only know what friends told you after. how about that time you were alone in your room and for no reason you broke down into tears and it flipped you out cus you thought something was really fucked up in your head. too many questions left with no answers. 'just what if's?' so my conclusion can only be that the purpose of life is to go through an extremely large series of fucked up situations and not get an answer from them and sometimes no reason for the cause of them at all. its what we do about them after they happen. talked to friends today from home. i miss em. talked to joel, branden, amber, casey... good times... things with candace and i are going well. i am glad we dont put a title on anything cus i am still not sure what i feel. she is an awesome chick and i have no intentions on stopping anything right now. i just dont know if i want to put my heart into anything like that any time soon. she is a great friend. i have been holding off on sex because i dont wanna get into anything heavy. and it bugs cus i know she wants to. i do too as well, but i cant at this point. tony is gunna be here on friday....! super-tony coming into town. heh we should have fun. it will be nice seeing a good friend from home. i am in the middle of cleaning shit right now and procrastination is taken the better part of me. o well. i guess i should get back and try to finish cleaning this place. its such a fucking mess....