i am writing this in response to a journal entry that i read. the journal and entry title will not be said cus it isnt about that one person. and no this person isnt bad, this is just my opinion on something that i have had to deal with myself. the journal had entry notes about suicide and all that kind of great stuff. the only reason that bothers me is because of what i have gone through. yes : i used to think about killing myself. yes : i attempted three times and somehow all three times i fucked it up. my freshman year of high school, kristy, a girl i was friends with, phones me letting me know that she was pregnant from some guy that was 22 or some age along those lines. i had know clue what to tell her and didnt say much in response to help her. later that night a fourteen year old girl found the need to slit her wrists in her closset under some blankets. her parents found her body two days later. apparantly i was the last person to have talked to her. i dated a girl that tried to kill herself on a regular basis. i didnt want to break up with her because i didnt want to be a cause. i waisted a long time because i was scared. one of best friends in high school had his mom blow half her head off in the next room right after calling her husband to yell at him for cheating. davey, went in and picked the remaning piece of her head and pet her until an ambulance arrived. his dad remarried the woman accross the street three momnths later. the moral of all this is to let people know that when u kill yourself it fucks us all up. my buddy davey is an alchy and does multiple drugs. i have never been the same sence that first incident. i dont blame myself but it was fucked up. just think people. the only way to be truly happy is being happy with you, find that and you set. i stopped trying to off myself a while ago. i had finally realized that it hurt too many people in the end. i still battle with different things in my mind all the time but thats ok, i usually work shit out, and when i dont i get stoned.