so i havent written in here in a while. i guess its because i have been afraid of what i would write. i am moving back to cali in august. it really took 2k miles to make me realize what people in my life meant to me. things with me and candice are slowling gettin fucked up. i am moving and it is a very real thing. that means the two of us seeing each other is kinda pointless. i dont need to get attached any farther. i am really starting to feel that my heart really belongs with kaitlen. she and i are very unique. its such a different feeling. something i have never had before. i feel kinda fucked up about everything. on the way home from dave's house we were listening to tool and i was picturing kaitlin and i making love. i never picture myself and someone making love. sex is one thing, but really loving someone is different. its scary almost.