hello fans of me....today wan a normal as day...i feal normal....and well dumb to as u can see....u ever think u just screw up cuz yer a screw up ? well today i feal like the biggest scre up ever...why i dunot know....i just hope that im not wasting ym time for something im not gonna get...i fuked up again indeed......hold on while i light this joint... [UPDATE] holy shit its like fukin 2 57 in the god dam morning!. i fukin passsed out like a mother fuker it was crazy, crazy man i tell ya...oh so crazy....i talked to my woman brittany today and we kinda sorted things out about us...i feal way stupid that i even thought she wanted me to just go die...cuz she doesnt....and now as i said befroe i feal pretty stupid about it...shes definantly one of the coolest and best people i have met and damn i am proud of that fact that i even know her and even more proud of her for actually being able to put up with me lol...cuz i gotta seem like a dumass to her right now...ven though she would say otherwise...i know i am....eh....but hopefully things will work out and shell end up right back in my arms at the end of this story....that i could only wish for right now...i love her with everything ive got...but im gonna have to tough anything that brings me down about her till i can win her back..allthough i probubly dont need to "win" her back...cuz i think she has givin me about the same space in her heart that i have givin to her....and if theres a god or godess or waht ever that watches over all us lil guys i wanna thank him/her for letting me meet such a person...to let me "bump" into her so to speek...lol....ahh memories...who woulda ever think that me and her would ever have met.....dam thats cool...well its 3 16 and im gonna go atch beauty and the beast adnt ehn go to school! its friday we have a "prep" rally today hahaha....not really...but at least i get to miss like all of 4th period....oh well thank you fans...oh and heres a shout out to my stalker pinktoenails....dude yer hot...yer great..u need to fukin try to get msn or yahoo...mostly yahoo...cuz i wanna talk to yer ass lol....ill see ya round.....and another shot out to my freinds at school...u guys ned help lol...just kidin...u know i love ya......and brittany....waht to say about brittany....im gonna marry you one day...how about that?...yeah i will...we will...u said so yourself...and so i love ya...and hopefully u love me too...and with the words of bright eyes i say this, dreamt of a fever, one that would cure me of this cold, winter-set heart With heat to melt these frozen tears burned with reasons as to carry on Into these twisted months I plunge without a light to follow But I swear that I would follow anything just get me out of here But you get six months to adapt and you get two more to leave town And in the event that you do adapt we still might not want you around But I fell for the promise of a life with a purpose but I know that that's impossible now And so I drink to stay warm and to kill selected memories cause I just can't think anymore about that or about her tonight And I give myself three days to feel better or else I swear I'll drive right off a fucking cliff because if I can't learn to make myself feel better how can I expect anyone else to give a shit? and I scream for the sunlight or a car to take me anywhere. just get me passed this dead and eternal snow cause I swear that I'm dying Slowly, but it's happening and if the perfect spring is waiting somewhere just take me there ...i wait for that....ill wait for her...ill wait for the summer of my life....that makes me happy to know it will come....that my winter will end , and i wont have to be alone any more.....thank you.....