Another night, Nothing special is happening, Just the same old story. It's late, I tried to sleep but once again I can't sleep. D came over, I gave him his christmas present, I know way early, it's just i'm leaving next week and who knows when I'll be able to see him again. He's working all the time, pulling doubles and such. I was exsited to give him his present, I think i was more exsited than he was, but he said he liked it and was playing with all the settings most of the evening. Yesterday I talked to K she told me about her boyfriend...He's missing...He went on some trip to Mexico in november and was only spose to be gone for 2wks, but he hasn't come back and there is no word from him, even his family has no clue, she called his work and he took a leave of absence before his trip so it almost looks like he ran away..a grown man running away..but she is stuck with 1700$ plane tickets that she was spose to use to go see him over the holidays. Poor K. She's a good person and she's trying so hard to make a good life for herself and her daughter. Got a letter from MM this week, she's having a hard time too. She had to get an abortion. Which I do understand her reasoning, she is in no place to be able to raise a child but what bothers me is that this is her second one, you would think that she would learn from her first horrible emotional crazy experience, so that she would never be put in that postition again, but I guess she is going to have to learn the hard way. I'm looking forward to seeing MM though, she says that i'm still her best friend even though i'm here and she's there and we hardly ever talk other than when i'm visiting. JS e-mailed me today, she's always so perfect, it almost makes me sick. She's doing well with school and what not and she's going away for newyears with her bubble boy. I secretly wish that she would have to deal with some real life experince..you know all the shitty not fair hard harsh crap that I and everyone else has to deal with. But what ever, I guess i don't wish that but she just got super lucky being born in to a family who takes care of everything for her, her car, her condo, her school and whatnot. No fair. Haven't talked to JY in a while but that isn't too shocking, we weren't really that close..just when we have the same classes together..now that I droped my child development class i don't exsiste to her anymore. NO big loss, no tears cried. I can't wait till I go to Calgary.. time isn't moving fast enough. I have to do a presentation in class tomorrow and then I jsut have to write the final test and my obligations are done. I can't wait for this super long holiday. I just hope seeing my family isn't more stressful than the rest of my life. I'm getting Jen to do my hair dye it probably, (she's hairdresser in training, almost graduated) I want something funky and dramatically different but i"m not quite sure what yet. Phone Bill came, holly shit large bling bling. or should i say ching ching. It's because I upgraded my hardware, but I needed to, I have to pay my dad back for all the cash. I can't wait to hear from student loans about next term, i'm a little worried. I know they got my application but they haven't processed it yet. I need lots of money but I doubt that I will get enough. Tuition for next term is 2000$ and plus text books and all my credit is maxed out and I owe for the phone and the melaluca orders I've been charging, and the pager i bought D. Too much. Not to mention living expenses. It cost alot to live alone. I miss having D living with me, when it comes down to the pennies. It is way easier and cheeper to live with someone than on your own. Jordy is spose to let me do some office work for him over my vacation/holidays but I don't know if it'll happen, he's having money trouble too and with christmas right around the corner I don't know. I really hope that He can pay me because I am desprite. I'm not too stressed out about it though not maxed anyway, i think about it and I keep calling the student loan automated machine to see if they have assesed my need yet but nothing so far. I've got it all spent already but i will seriously die with out it. I would have to leave school and move and get a job... that would be horrible. I need to stay in school, like shit i'm already going to be going for at least 8+ years if I had to take time off then I would be ther till i'm 50, I know it'll work out but I hate not knowing. I wish things went easier. Went like they were originally planed to go..I wouldn't be in this pradicament. But yeah whatever. Faith...Surrender....all that good stuff. Well I guess i'm done babbleing for the moment. Talk to ya later.