so here I am. the more things change the more they stay the same. This should b my thyme. Last night, right after I smoked, William called and told me that Mike was on the phone for me. It took me awhile to comprehend what the hell he was talking about. Finally, after giving the wheels a moment to turn, I realize what is transpiring. And that my decision was needed. Like should I even talk to this mother Fucker after all the shit he did to me. I loved him and he used that to his own advantage. He knew I would of done like anything for him. Fuckin Jerk. So I figured that I should be the one to tell him exactly how I feel. But at the same time my heart is pumping out of my chest. And my head is all retardedly stoned. Like the roach was still smoking in the ass tray. Anyway I go over there and I get a little pissed off and yell a bit. But ya I don't know. It was retarded. I was so not in the mood to talk to him right there. But I knew he was going to call. He's getting released in about a month and counting. He's going to Calgary right away. What the hell. Last night I was pretty pissed off. I was thinking about it....like do all the guys go into heat at the same time or something?? Really, if I think about it...in the last 2wks 3 different guys(ex)have all suddenly contacted me and want "me" in some sort of way. I'm starting to think that it has nothing to do with me. Maybe it's in the air or the season or planetary alignment or something. Like what the hell. So regardless of why this shit with these guys are happening, I have to figure out what the hell I’m going to do. It's so critical right now. One decision could change everything just like that. And I think failure to make a decision is just a detrimental. Anyway I’m chatting with some MSN dude, and he's pissing me off with his righteous crap. So I’m getting to be in a bitchy mood. And I don't want to think about these things right now.