well what to say, havent been on here in quite awhile. nothing really going on that makes me want to vent here. i've been doing so by painting, running, or taking a long drive all while blasting my music. but here it goes. i am actually really happy. no me and joey are not together but im completely fine with that. it was ment to happen. we are still close friends and hangout and talk here and there but things are just good. i mean if i heard or saw him dating another girl i would be happy for him. i mean yea i would probably compare myself to her and be like why her, what makes her special to you. but thats only cuz we were together for almost 4 years. but i would be fine with that. so looking back at everything im extremely happy, im doing things now that i normal would not since i would never partake in activities he once didnt want to do. and now im the one drinking at the parties not being the DD since i dont have to take him home at a certain time. i mean im not saying he held me back, im just saying im breaking thru my shell. i've been getting closer with all my friends that i have had and making more. some friends i wish i was closer with but they have their own things going on but i wont give up. and im happy with being single. really. i mean yea here and there i miss the kisses, cuddling and just that feeling of being with someone but i am fine with just being with myself and the friends that i love. people come up and say things to me like ohhh how are you doing, are you still heartbroken.,... etc.. and no matter what i tell them if its yes im fine, im really content they never seem to believe me since they just go well im here for you, you know. i know its hard. and on the inside i just laugh and go ok fine dont believe me. others think its too weird that we are still friends which i think is crazy. of course we are. there is no way i think i could ever be with someone and fall in love with them for about 4 years of my life. a main part of my life and then when it ends just forget and ignore them. they were in my life so close for so long for a reason. why would i throw that friendship away. but overall. im extremely content. life is going pretty well.