ectasy story ________ i was listening to music and i heard when you smoke ciggerrettes it makes you roll better so i did and this song started to play and i felt all good and i looked at the christmas lights and i could feel them flickering at me and touching me today _______ i went to arroyo verde with alexa and carolyn and veronica and we had a picnic and then hiked then went to the beack and then went to the pool...im so stoked that the pool was heated cause i like to swim...swimming = FUN yay fun fun fun hmm...i haVent seen andrew in a week that = SHIT but its ok casue he is coming down tomorrow and im really siked yay ok bye im leaving no wonder i dont like homework...you should hear alexa right now

♥You Dont Need To Emerge From Nothing...You Dont Need To Tear Away♥ fuuuuck...its wednesday...i need at least 15 or 20 dollars by fuckin friday...i cant get a job for another week...my parents are leaving this weekend and wont give me money...FUCK im basically fuckin screwed...i guess its like whatever the fuck ever but it basically suuuucks right now...ya know??? i have all this foreign money i can exchange but i just dont know how to do that either....fuck me..i want to smoke a ciggerrette now...hmmm...so i have been finding out who my real friends are lately...or at least the ones i can trust the most...i guess thats kewl but it sucks when you think you know someone and you really dont...ew life is so weird ya know? yaaaa

sooo...i just found out that friday is the last day of school before fuckin spring break...oooh shit...that means...goodbye school...HELLO andrew...lol i hung out with him again this weekend...i miss him...hes fuckin funny...he is f u c k i n cute to lol he says the funniest things...anyways...im going to go now BUT look at this

meh everyones asleep or at school...you guys suck

its like 2:30 Im Fuckin Bored Ewy I Hate Being On The Computer all Long....oh god...should i do my homework again??? i fucking do way to much homeowrk its CRAZAY

sooo its finally friday....nothing really happened at all this week it was basically boring and very uneventful....yay...hopefully something tonight will spark up my life a lil bit...it best happen sooon biotch im over this.....so i guess im going to byeee oh ya... new obesession = SONNY MOORE ♥

its funny how you will have something but you will be wanting it so much that you push it away and you dont realize it...hmmm...life is just weird like that i guess....oeiwht dhsjhhwahgdhhedhhgdfjghghghhghg I WANT A CIGGERRETTE RIGHT THE FUCK NOW

'the world is fucked up, but i'm gonna be ok. Living my life and trying to get through today, my attitude is fuck IT and whatever THEY say, because I'm high as fuck, and I walk this way. In other words, if you dont know you better learn. I wasnt brought to be taught. I was brought to teach, why the fuck do you think I was given this type'o speech I can sit in my room and start writing for weeks, like a DJ turning the tables of Technique, but I still got a soft spot, for the soothing sound of a speakerboxx, you can feel me and my baby coming for blocks, when we rock.... Kicking up dust, with everybody making a fuss while watching us, but i had to leave'er for a girl who would let me bust, this very microphone in which i hold my trust

Rip Thomas Christopher Stephenson [TC] November 6, 1983 - February 21, 2006 ♥

ummm...so my parents are back and everyones all sad about the arizona thing...except robby he wont shut the fuck up about like quads and shit...he wull be soooo scared of that shit if he got on one...lol what the hell...moving on...im home again yay i need to take a shower for surely...OMFGZZZ...i am going to hang out with my babey alicia tomorrow im sooo fucking siked i miss that girly...ew im bummed for surely i didnt get ot hang out with thomas today dumb ass has a gnar gnar hang over...hahah that sucks assss for surely ew ok im going away from the computer now this shit is wack

ew take forever all i want to do is get fuckin drunk and your taking years....dude V your lame and kelamie your slow ,....BAH sooo um i think i like him again....aaaaah relapse relapse but it will be different this time right...anhahahahahhahaha i crazk myself up its like whatever the fuck ever ya know?

hmmm...random night...it was kewl...kelamie and haleys little brother cody gave me a ring and put it on my finger like he was proposing...it was weird that kid is like 4 but it was sooo fucking adorable...soo i hung out with thomas today and that was fuckin weird..memories oh the memories...i fucking missed that boy so much...anyways moving on...johnny wont stop aiming me and saying HAHAH its fuckin annoying BAH...anyways im losing my train of thought and i think i might be dreaming....so im going to smoke and ya...ok byeeeeee ♥ which would you prefer??? my finger on the trigger or me faced down down across your floor??? ♥

Please Forgive Them...They Don't Understand...

fuck...i hate when i get like this...i hate that my counslers make me get like this even more to..its like they make me talk about this shit and try to help me and its bringing it all up and out of me...but it makes me so fucking angry and pissed and i hate being like this...but...i wouldnt even go to counsling but my dad really wants me to so ya...in order to earn his trust and respect and blah blah i have to do this for him...EW i cant wait til its the fucking weekend and hopefully everything will work the fuck out because i just need a fuckin chill weekend with my favorite people and to get over this shitty fucking stage EW FUCK THIS SHIT IM UUUUUUUUUH FUCK IT ♥ I Want You To Know That I Miss You ♥

ew dude current mood is sick for surely... anyways....my parents are out of town this weekend FUCKING TIGHT and ya...im basically going to have a really good fucking weekend with the whole house to myself...yay... ok thats all i have to say about that... ♥ so love me gently with a chainsaw...and take the glass against your wrist...you know i am your worst nightmare...oh how you love my bloody kiss...but its time to die...your worth more dead...♥

Im Nothing To You Again...

Andrew The Great...Is Back In My Life...Im So Siked ON It...I Missed That Fucker So Much...So Basically Thats Who I Hung Out With All Weekend...And His Brother Random As FUCK...Soo...Im Supposed To Go To Arizona In 2 Weeks But I Dont Think Im Going To...I Dont Want To Make That Fuckin Road Trip...I Dont Want To Be Around A Bunch Of Depressed Crying People...I Fucking Hate Funerals...I Mean I Loved That Boy...But I Dont Think I Can Really Handle It...Ya Know??? Anyways... ♥"My Heroine" The drugs begin to peak A smile of joy arrives in me But sedation changes to panic and nausea And breath starts to shorten And heartbeats pound softer You won't try to save me! You just want to hurt me and leave me desperate! You taught my heart, a sense I never knew I had. I can forget, the times that I was Lost and depressed from the awful truth How do you do it? You're my heroine! You won't leave me alone! Chisel my heart out of stone, I give in everytime. You taught my heart, a sense I never knew I had I can forget, the times that I was Lost and depressed from the awful truth How do you do it? You're my heroine! I bet you laugh, at the thought of me thinking for myself. (myself) I bet you believe, that I'm better off with you than someone else. Your face arrives again, all hope I had becomes surreal. But under your covers more torture than pleasure And just past your lips there's more anger than laughter Not now or forever will I ever change you I know that to go on, I'll break you, my habit! You taught my heart, a sense I never knew I had. I can forget, the times when I was Lost and depressed from the awful truth How do you do it? You're my heroine! I will save myself!♥ basically my favorite song ok schools out laaaate

shes still mad at me and i havent talked to her...i dont know how i feel about it...i basically think the whole thing is stupid and when we started being friends again we decided that no boy would ever come between us again and WAAAAH LAAAA look what fucking happened....EW anyways.... i got to hang out with alicia today i was siked on that i miss that girl sooo much she like barely gonna pierce me soon and im siked on it OMG.... I GET MY FUCKING PHONE BACK TOMORROW MORNING OMG IM SO SIKED it should like be friday already cause im sick of fucking waiting...like seriously... ew arizona soon weird... god save me

so he died...i guess im on my way to arizona soon...

i dont even know what to fucking do with myself why the fuck did that happen??? i wont ever really understand god i cant stop crying i fucking hate this ew i havent felt like this in such a long time it kind of feels like i need to slit wrists theory or something